Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Kanmuk_Sealclubber, Feb 10, 2019.
I have no regrets
My parents believe that EverQuest ruined me and frequently bring up my "computer addiction" as a 30-year-old with a pregnant wife, a decent job, and a healthy number of friends and outdoor hobbies. In many ways, EverQuest was the best time I had in my life while I was playing it, but I was pretty miserable anytime I wasn't playing it.
I should regret how I treated people, but I'm probably a sociopath so I don't. I remember one time I was berating Gnorn about something stupid and that upset him, but I think that's the only time I felt bad. I love Gnorn.
U should tell ur parents to shut their stupid mouths.
That is interesting though, I mean parents never let go of some things... my parents still give me "advice" on a whole range of things, my mom is actually pretty good about it (relatively speaking) and tells my dad to STFU when he really gets on a roll, because she realizes how annoying it can be when your 80+ year old dad is telling you how to handle ur life at 40-something lol.
Also, accurate or not, all my extreme geekiness during my teens/20s was the subject of ridicule of all my non-vidya-gaming friends, but nearly all of that went away when I started making a p good living off of tech shit and they assumed that my vidya interest just morphed into professional tech nerd interest. I really think a lot of them envisioned early on I would become a game-playing basement dweller in my parents house permanently.
Joke's on them. I'm a game-playing basement dweller in my OWN house god damn it.
I was so secretive about EverQuest. I don't think anyone from school or sports knew that I played. Now I openly talk about EverQuest as a major part of my adolescence.
With a bigger screen
You're goddamn right
And I still occasionally bring up how running guilds in EQ/DaoC + running TZT for years has tought me shit, in professional settings. Some people totally get it (I'd actually say most people). Though there have definitely also been some "okay dude, whatever" looks too in the past Lol!
Okay dude, whatever
My parents also did this (and they were technically accurate in calling it an addiction), but they stopped after I parlayed it into a career and sort of sheepishly apologized for it later on. If I end up being a parent, I hope I don't react the same way to something I don't fully understand.
My hatred of old people is mostly tongue-in-cheek. Although I do think old people dying off is part of social progress.
I agree with you that you have to analyze “decisions” within the context in which they were made. I think that’s a good principle that applies to life, in general.
I also appreciate that you are being optimistic and supportive. But I don’t view “regret” (whatever it means) as inherently negative. As Searyx suggested, we shouldn’t obliterate ourselves over past decisions we have no control over now. We also shouldn’t just rationalize away every shitty decision we’ve made and suppress/ignore the many ways our past decisions impact our present lives.
It’s an exceedingly long conversation to try to determine what mindset is healthy in what situation - I was just interested in hearing about what people a) think about the time they spent in EQ, and b) what other things they wish went differently in their lives.
I regret opening and reading this thread, I didn't realize it was a partial birth abortion.
Kanmuk: Sorry if it was patronizing. I guess I'm just trying to say that retrospection only makes sense in the context of improving future decisions. This thread ("Misery and Regret") sounded more like self-flaggelation/pity.
As for EQ, my main regret is doing too much soloing. EQ style dungeon crawlers are so damn rare these days, such a wasted opportunity.
I get the sentiment, but in regards to several things I do actually think like that.
As an example, at the age of 21 I had an opportunity to work for my girlfriends father in his clone PC business. I was working part time at Toys R Us at the time, just to pay bills while I was going to college studying psychology. The job was more money and a full time gig. The downside, I'd have to switch to night school because it was a day job. I hated night school, got caught up in the tech boom and the money of working in IT, so I never finished my degree and never ended up helping people like I wanted to. Despite earning a good living, I never felt satisfied in my career thirty years later.
I could say that is a regret. I certainly wish I'd done something different career wise. Then again, this career provided a good life for me and my family. Also, I had my only blood daughter with that girl. Yeah, later on in our marriage she fucked around on me and left... and that was the worst experience of my life. But, I have this kid, this daughter, who is the absolute light of my life. She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Would I have had her if I hadn't taken that job, would I have stayed with that girl, who knows? So, there's no way I can truly regret that decision because it gave me my daughter. Although there's always a part of me that wishes I hadn't taken that job and I'd stayed in school, that wonders where my life would have gone and what I would have done.
On the other hand, there are true regrets. My grandmother was in the hospital. I took two days off work to visit her and spend time with her. Except I never visited her those two days, I just fucked around and wasted time doing I don't remember what. My grandmother was like a mother to me, she lived with us the whole time I was growing up. I didn't visit her because I was young and I didn't really think she was going to pass, it was unexpected when she did. I did visit her once in the hospital prior to that, and I remember hugging her. But I could have spent more time with her, real time with her, been by her side. To this day it rips my heart apart that I didn't. I could forgive myself and say I was young and stupid, but it still hurts, and I will always regret it. I was real self centered when I was younger. Still am, but at least today I'm aware of it and sometimes I can get out of myself.
As for time playing Everquest, I met my current wife on Everquest, and I have a daughter with her. Still, I wasted too much time on EQ, and I neglected relationships with my step children especially over it. But they were gaming addicts when they were growing up too.... so I'm not sure even if I hadn't played if it would have made much difference. I had some real good times and some great relationships from EQ so I don't completely regret it at all. It actually I think may have saved me after my divorce because it gave me friends and a community when I really needed it.
I tend to be one of those people now that thinks everything happens for a reason, that there is a purpose to it all. Because even missing out on spending time with my grandma in her final days taught me something, to value and cherish the time that you have with people. I didn't learn that lesson right away because I pushed the grief of losing my grandma back until I could deal with it many many years later.
I regret not harassing my brother more to dump his GF who he's now mired in drug addiction with. I mean, who knows if it would have succeeded, but I only had one "big talk" about it way back in the day and never followed up. I feel like I may have been able to influence him when it was still early and he was already sick of his shit (and still sober).
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