They takin 80% of my stomach

Discussion in 'Spamalot - nsfw' started by Utumno, Jul 9, 2019.

  1. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

    Post Count:
    41,298
    Aug 28th. Date set.

    Either something goes horribly wrong and y'all finally get to kill me or I tip the scales towards surviving longer, foiling TZT's assassination plan.
     
  2. Agrul

    Agrul TZT Neckbeard Lord

    Post Count:
    45,864
    damn, g'luck

    do we get to keep the 80% they take off? i need it for a school project

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

    Post Count:
    41,298
    lol that'd be funny if i asked for it... "bruh, can i keep that?"
     
  4. Czer

    Czer I'm a poor person. The lambo is my cousin's.

    Post Count:
    25,171
    Are you okay?

    Is this for disease or weight.
     
  5. Jackpanel

    Jackpanel TZT Abuser

    Post Count:
    6,835
    Wouldn’t it be easier to just sew 80% of your mouth shut?
     
    Torrast and Utumno like this.
  6. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

    Post Count:
    41,298
    Weight, trying to see if I can live past 60.

    lol you'd think


    When I read that the odds of a morbidly obese person getting to target weight and keeping it off is something like 1% (@Kanmuk_Sealclubber or @Agrul check me on that shit if I'm way off), I realized that kidding yourself that you'll be able to get back to normal weight and stay there via willpower or bootstraps or "just manning up" or "changing your mindset and lifestyle" is about as likely to work as reading "The Secret" and hoping things pan out.

    I'm in a good weight range to do it (if you're rly huge they won't do it, very high risk of damaging other organs), and apparently pretty healthy in most other ways so docs I've talked to said I'm close to an ideal patient for it.
     
  7. Sear

    Sear TZT Neckbeard Lord

    Post Count:
    32,375
    u got this big Utumno (perhaps not so big after this, LOL)

    I'm friends with a former fatty who had the operation and she seems much happier with it. Went from being morbidly obese to normal and has stayed that way. She still eats a bunch of trash - just less of it, I guess.
     
    Utumno likes this.
  8. Kanmuk_Sealclubber

    Kanmuk_Sealclubber Yes

    Post Count:
    9,378
    I don't know what the rates are, but if you've tried different behavioural strategies and they continually fail, you'd be taking a big gamble thinking that they are suddenly going to start working. People might be judgmental, but whatever. You've got kids, do what you can to not die. Buy more LINK if you're worried about your alpha cred.
     
    Utumno likes this.
  9. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

    Post Count:
    41,298
    The rates were so shockingly low I sortof doubted the validity (the sources I read were from NYT and BBC I think though, so while they weren't scholarly writ, they weren't from random rags either). I tried reading some of the quoted sources but my brain just goes blank when reading actual studies.

    But honestly whether it was 1% or 15x that, those rates are so low that basically just about every program out there (paid or otherwise) comes close to a scam, in leading you to believe you have reasonable odds of success. If the rates are anywhere near that low, basically we should be treating obesity much more like heroin addiction or some shit that you *never* want to get into the first place, and if you do manage to slip into it - the expected treatment should be accordingly drastic.

    My tinfoil hat side says that the fact that we don't look at obesity this way is really beneficial to the $70 billion market that keeps people believing they can figure it out.
     
  10. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

    Post Count:
    41,298
    shit like this:

    https://www.reuters.com/article/us-...ing-to-a-healthy-weight-idUSKCN0Q42O020150730

    And most concerning is how your body seems to actively fight ever being healthy again, nevermind any willpower/lifestyle considerations:

    https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog...f-the-biggest-losers-experience-2018031213396


    A new study of The Biggest Loser
    A recent study looked at how participants in The Biggest Loser fared six years after their 30-week competition. Researchers publishing in the medical journal Obesity found that:

    • At the end of the competition, average weight loss was nearly 128 pounds. Since the average starting weight was about 327 pounds, that’s a drop of nearly 40% of body weight.
    • On average, participants experienced a 23% drop in their resting metabolic rate.
    • Six years later, competitors regained an average of 90 pounds, but the significant slowing in metabolic rate persisted.
    • There was not a direct correlation between the amount of metabolic slowing and the amount of weight lost during the show. However, after six years those who kept the most weight off had the most slowing.
     
  11. Sear

    Sear TZT Neckbeard Lord

    Post Count:
    32,375
    have you tried bootstraps and self-help books tho?

    *judgmental gaze*
     
    Utumno likes this.
  12. allanun

    allanun TZT Abuser

    Post Count:
    5,369
    How much do you weigh?
     
  13. Sear

    Sear TZT Neckbeard Lord

    Post Count:
    32,375
    In seriousness, I've changed my opinion on this over the years (and after reading about it + talking to ppl)

    I used to be in the judgmental "why can't fat people just stop being fat?" camp. That is of course ignorant and oversimplifying a very complex and individually-specific problem.

    I put most of the blame on our food industry and government for exacerbating the obesity epidemic. ~90% of the food you see in stores/restaurants/anywhere being bad for you doesn't help matters any.
     
  14. AgelessDrifter

    AgelessDrifter TZT Neckbeard Lord

    Post Count:
    43,932
    You know what’s good for metabolic slowdown is cocaine and pushups
     
    Utumno likes this.
  15. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

    Post Count:
    41,298
    274
     
  16. Sanlaven

    Sanlaven TZT Abuser

    Post Count:
    9,356
    It’s probably worse than heroin addiction, at least in terms of impact on society. People don’t view it at a serious problem though because unhealthy food addiction kills slowly rather than immediately. Also, the government fails to regulate the food industry and our brains are continuously assailed with aggressive advertising of unhealthy and addictive foods. On top of that, there is a lot of marketing to make processed foods/dairy/meat SEEM healthy with fancy labels when in fact they really aren’t at all.
     
    allanun likes this.
  17. Jackpanel

    Jackpanel TZT Abuser

    Post Count:
    6,835
    “New Heroin Lite. Because you deserve a treat.”

    “It’s Carolyn’s birthday. We’re all having some heroin in the break room.”
     
  18. Arogarn

    Arogarn TZT Neckbeard

    Post Count:
    20,400
    Must be nice to be able to afford these elective cosmetic surgeries.
     
  19. Torrast

    Torrast TZT Journeyman

    Post Count:
    213
    Not sure I’d put this in a category that might also contain boob jobs (not that Ut would need one, sounds like).

    Good luck, hope it all goes smoothly.
     
  20. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

    Post Count:
    41,298
    p sure it was a joke (but hey maybe not)

    i mean i wish it was just a matter of moobs then i'd opt out - it's not like i get rly excited about surgery.

    thankfully kaiser now covers this completely for people at certain BMI w/certain comorbitities (high blood pressure, sleep apnea, etc)