Addressing people by name

Discussion in 'Spamalot - nsfw' started by AgelessDrifter, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. AgelessDrifter

    AgelessDrifter TZT Neckbeard Lord

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    I have always felt that this is a strange thing to do, and it usually puts me a little on edge when people do it

    Obviously there's the aspect of it feeling like a salesperson tactic to make me like and trust the speaker

    but also, it's just weird--I already know who I am, and I already know you're talking to me and not someone else because we're having a conversation

    and I also feel like it's sort of--if not an equivalent exactly--a verbal analog of the alpha-guy shoulder slap. Like it's not a way you speak very often to people you see as your equal, and even less so to people you look up to (although maybe to a person you have kiss up to)

    But I get the sense I'm in the minority on a lot of this. What does Spamalot think?
     
  2. Agrul

    Agrul TZT Neckbeard Lord

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    i guess that's an ok opinion, agelessdrifter
     
  3. AgelessDrifter

    AgelessDrifter TZT Neckbeard Lord

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    Thanks Agrul
     
  4. AgelessDrifter

    AgelessDrifter TZT Neckbeard Lord

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    We of course all know that the only acceptable form of address online among friends is 'pal'
     
  5. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

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    There's a guy who does this @ work constantly but I always assume it's just supposed to be a personable thing. I'm mostly neutral to it except I wonder if he expects me to address him back by name (which I don't).
     
  6. Sear

    Sear TZT Neckbeard Lord

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    that's right pal

    there's psychology behind that too tbh, but it always felt less disingenuous and more informal/impersonal to me
     
  7. Sifter

    Sifter TZT Addict

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    It is red-pill alpha-male technique to do this.

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Sear

    Sear TZT Neckbeard Lord

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    if I have to politely tell sales ppl to fuck off and let me look at stuff on my own more than once, I just start messing w/ them and making shit up to see how long they'll play along
     
  9. Red

    Red TZT Neckbeard

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    Pal should oolways be used ool the time
     
  10. Harper

    Harper TZT Addict

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    I call people by name all the time. it's probably a power thing I guess cause I hate it when people do it to me
     
  11. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

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    That's sortof weird HARPER
     
  12. TuccTZ

    TuccTZ TZT Abuser

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    I make people call me Benny because of TZT and it cracks me up.
     
    Sear likes this.
  13. Utumno

    Utumno Administrator Staff Member

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    Fuck yeah, big benny starks
     
  14. Vlaara

    Vlaara Maaruk the Mighty

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    I address people by name, I don't see why this is weird. I even address people I have known for decades by their name. This doesn't seem weird to me at all.
     
  15. Jong

    Jong TZT Abuser

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    yeah it doesn't feel weird to me either. I do it because I know that people love the sound of their own names and also its nice to communicate to people that I remembered their name (with someone I'm not that close to). But even people i know well, i will still do it sometimes. Because it comes from a good place, I don't think, if you heard me say it to you, that you would dislike it.

    I feel the same way when people say "buddy," sounds condescending, but I have two friends that, any time either of them says "buddy" to me, it sounds heartfelt and I can't possibly object to it
     
  16. Klerick

    Klerick I have loved some ladies, I have loved Jim Beam...

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    I'm pretty sure Ageless meant a constant reference to someone by name in a conversation. That is weird.

    "Hi Ageless how are you doing?"
    "That's so good to hear Ageless"
    "So Ageless, how is your family"
    "Ageless, has anyone told you how funny you are?"
     
  17. Jong

    Jong TZT Abuser

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    i dont think he meant that. of course that would be absurd, and not really worth talking about
     
  18. AgelessDrifter

    AgelessDrifter TZT Neckbeard Lord

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    I'm talking about the way you hear politicians do it at town hall meetings: "Well, let me tell you, Barbara..." when Barbara just finished asking a question ten minutes into the meeting, or like, after a five minute conversation with a coworker before parting ways, "Ok, thanks Joe, see you later."

    Not "Hey, Joe!" When I'm not looking or like "Joe! Long time no see!"--that's obviously fine.

    Also, important caveat: I actually think it's more polite to refer to people in the third person by name in a group of three or more rather than pointing or being ambiguous about who you're referencing or (in a group of only three,) letting it be implied: "I was just repeating what Bob said a few minutes ago." Although that can go too far, too, now that I think about it.

    I guess the name thing is really just one easy-to-name heuristic for something broader and hard to characterize precisely.
     
  19. Sear

    Sear TZT Neckbeard Lord

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    Thanks for the feedback, Joe. We'll see you on Monday.

    *hard friendly back slap*

    Oh, one more thing, Joe? You're gonna want to shave those sideburns. Just looking out for you, little buddy.

    *raises eyebrows, sips coffee, and walks off*
     
  20. Arogarn

    Arogarn TZT Neckbeard

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    I guess it's me you're talking about. I try to listen and remember to waitresses and various phone receptionists when they first tell me, and tell them "Thanks, Vanessa" midway checking on drinks or "Ok Bye, I appreciated all your help Ed".