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Topics - pupu von knitting

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 ... 28
1
Spamalot / Just got maced
« on: August 26, 2015, 01:04:20 PM »
Indirectly.

Mail carriers are issued dog repellent, a little spray can of cayenne pepper concentrate, and that is kept in the mail trucks. In theory the spray is to be carried by the carrier to the door during mail deliveries. I've always considered the stuff to be the most asinine and useless addition to a postman's uniform, but shrugged it off as a means to satisfy idiots.

Today I'm at a cluster mail box. It's wet outside from a heavy downpour, and I see this orange liquid on one of the doors around the drop slot. I figure it's a combination of water and rust. I proceed to open the door. I sniff my hand just to be sure. Can't smell anything, but I'm stuffed up from a cold so that's no surprise. Then the burning sets in. My lower face is on fire (specifically my cheeks and the area above my lip). I walk over to the side mirror. Nothing peeling off. The pain though. The mediocre but still it's there pain. Then it occurs to me.

This particular box has an on-again-off-again colony of wasps. I open the door, they fly out, I knock the nest down and smash it with my foot. Fairly routine, and these particular paper wasps never so much as land on me so I ignore them for the most part besides discouraging them from the idea of building in the box. Well the ding-dong from yesterday decided to take the dog repellent and go medieval on the mailbox. I figured it was one of the residents, so I drove back to the office.

Well, the carrier from the day prior had been looking at me from the corner of his case. On the way back into the office, he asks me what's up. I tell him that a resident had sprayed mace all over the mailbox to get at the wasps. He tells me it was him and that it was the dog repellent. He's not the brightest tool in the shed. I tell him that if he's that worried about getting stung, just bring the mail back next time and inform the supervisor of a hazard. However, under no circumstance is he to mace the collection box. He insists he's in the right and that he's killed off the wasps (not true on both accounts since the wasps just moved into the next collection box over). Since he was going to be thick-headed about the whole thing, I just walked away at that point.

I get the dog repellent out of the truck and give it to the supervisor and explain the situation. Already I'm imagining people slipping letters into the box and getting this crap on their hand.

AND WHO THE FUCK USES PEPPER SPRAY ON WASPS?


2
Spamalot / Closet Renovations
« on: August 15, 2015, 08:51:14 PM »
my folks are renovating their closet (pipe leak under the house for thirty years messed up the floor)

everything in the closet had to be taken out

innocent looking shoe box on the dining room table (my father keeps files and accounting papers; sometimes there's the odd photo of an unknown relative or the occasional lower half of a squirrel that's missing its upper torso)

dirty joke book on top

pick it up, inspecting book "huh, this is weird - they hate these kinds of things"

look back at the box

piles of condoms and sex stuff

i mean it seems obvious now and yeah i'm a child

but


3
Spamalot / aro thread
« on: July 12, 2015, 05:35:22 AM »

4
Spamalot / loljk not terminated
« on: July 06, 2015, 08:04:26 PM »
update: so a guy called in monday saying that i was swearing (true) and that i "nearly hit a kid and a black kid" (not true)

went to pre-disciplinary meeting on wednesday with union rep - gave my side of the story

called friday - told was still on emergency placement

get a call saturday morning - apparently the guy rescinded his claim about the second part after being questioned about it, and the office was down two routes and "welp, we need someone to work"

so off emergency placement

talked to the manager, talked to the supervisor - seven day suspension (first vacation in four eight years) - will probably end up being just a letter of warning

tl;dr

! No longer available

Quote from: Knitting von Pepe Lew Tivruuskee IV
yeeeeeeeaaaaahhh

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/police-man-shoots-off-firework-top-head-dies-32231780

seems like a good way to go - just disintegrate head

5
Spamalot / n/t
« on: June 29, 2015, 10:16:43 PM »

6
Spamalot / im so
« on: June 27, 2015, 09:32:10 PM »
ronery

so ronery

so ronery and sadry arone

there's no one

just me onery

sitting on my rittre throne

i work rearry hard and make up great prans

but nobody ristens, no one understands

seems like no one takes me serirousry

and so im ronery

(sigh)

a rittre ronery

poor rittre meeeee



*<|8*{

7
Spamalot / a penis is really
« on: May 30, 2015, 08:50:37 PM »
just a blood burrito

8
Spamalot / someone got fired today
« on: May 16, 2015, 06:40:41 PM »
wasn't me you assholes

9
Spamalot / vegeta
« on: May 13, 2015, 12:14:51 PM »
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11
Spamalot / someone called the police on me today
« on: April 26, 2015, 11:33:31 AM »
"there's this guy in a mail truck going around and delivering boxes to doors"

fuck, really? get out of town, that's the craziest shit ever

12
Spamalot / pubes clogging up shower drain
« on: April 17, 2015, 05:08:56 PM »
operation hemostat completed

operation drano is underway

will update in 24 hours

13
Spamalot / why call them implants
« on: March 23, 2015, 06:03:50 PM »
call them mamplants

14
Spamalot / pork stall life
« on: March 22, 2015, 11:56:03 AM »
delivering sunday amazon delivery

at an apartment complex so i knock on the door instead of leaving the package in front of the door (theft at apartments is probably close to 100%)

woman answers the door

as i hand her the package, she begins to open her mouth

i see that she has two rotted teeth - i know the crankiness is coming

"hey, how come ya'll don't deliver thur certifieds to the dar?! you all never come to the door!"

i stand there at her door looking staring at her dead in the eye (no homo)

after five seconds it dawns on her that she can't bullshit me like she bullshits the management over the phone

she smiles and closes the door

walk back to the truck, get in, start the ignition

laugh until the next delivery

15
Spamalot / another thursday
« on: March 19, 2015, 04:58:03 PM »
blood shooting out of my eyeballs at the stupidity of colleagues


16
Spamalot / fatness: xxl
« on: March 11, 2015, 08:31:17 PM »
moomoo here i come

17
Spamalot / delivering mail
« on: March 04, 2015, 03:12:41 PM »
pull up behind a guy at gated community

he fucks up his code three times trying to get in the gate

he's driving all over the left and right lane

he has to swerve to avoid hitting a pedestrian who is pushing a stroller

he stops his truck in the middle of the road in front of me

leans his head out the window

he's hungover as fuck and probably slept in his truck overnight

puts his shitty smartphone out the window to take a picture of my truck

he tries to pull into his driveway

fucks it up and has to back out

nearly backs over a pedestrian with a dog

i drive on down the road

the amount of rage i feel right now

probably going to go up another notch on the ssri scale

18
Spamalot / is yoshi a girl
« on: January 25, 2015, 12:44:11 PM »
birdo thread

19
Spamalot / neither
« on: January 13, 2015, 05:55:23 PM »
hi there or he there?

20
Spamalot / so it just occurred to me
« on: January 08, 2015, 06:03:06 PM »
agrul, were you playing the little math minigames in ff4 and not the main game all those hours?

21
Spamalot / fat level: pill sorter
« on: January 05, 2015, 02:32:36 PM »
pill slipped out of cap and came to a rest on my gut

while i was standing

22
Spamalot / dear taket
« on: January 05, 2015, 02:31:18 PM »
i have high blood pressure

23
Spamalot / made it to 6:23
« on: January 03, 2015, 04:41:16 PM »

24
Spamalot / Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Christmas Special
« on: December 31, 2014, 08:37:40 PM »
probably the best christmas episode ever

also, final fantasy iii is surprisingly fun (or the zoloft makes me think jrpgs are fun; either way)

25
Spamalot / zoloft
« on: December 23, 2014, 10:22:40 PM »

26
Spamalot / external hdd enclosure has a little fan underneath
« on: December 16, 2014, 05:24:20 PM »
moves around slowly on top of the other enclosure like a roomba


27
Spamalot / fatness level: scarred warddrobe
« on: December 14, 2014, 04:44:56 PM »
when all your clothing has stitches in it from bending over and not seams but just flat surfaces ripping apart

28
Spamalot / downloading from china
« on: December 14, 2014, 06:19:25 AM »
sometimes not so fast

29
Spamalot / would you shut up
« on: December 08, 2014, 07:44:30 PM »
yelled that at work today and managed to silence 70+ people

prior to that, started to violently smash my hand into various parts of my case; walked outside and got in the car and hyperventilated for about fifteen minutes

may have left a dent in the side of the mail truck at the later hours - not sure, was dark

but i'm fine

30
Spamalot / omgomgomg
« on: December 05, 2014, 11:59:23 PM »
http://www.aljazeera.com/news/asia-pacific/2014/12/japan-asteroid-hunting-spacecraft-hayabusa2-20141233286777189.html

Quote
Japan's space agency has launched an ambitious space mission which aims to mine an asteroid and hunt for clues about the birth of the solar system.

About the size of a fridge, and fitted with an explosive bullet, Japan's asteroid-hunting spacecraft embarked on a six-year space mission on Wednesday.

Building on a previous mission, which managed to bring rock fragments from another asteroid back to Earth in 2010, this time Hayabusa2 aims to do more.

The $260m spacecraft uses ion engines - a system which uses electricity to accelerate gas particles.

"That makes a jet that goes extremely fast about 30-40km/s," said Dr Francisco Diego, from University College London. "Although the mass of this gas is very very low, it produces a little bit of a push in a very  efficient way and that's enough to steer the spacecraft along the orbit."


Hayabusa2 has a long way to go: more than 5 billion kilometres.

Tiny robots

For the next two and a half years it will play catch-up with asteroid 1999 JU3. The asteroid is one of many that orbit the Sun, mainly between Earth and Mars. Once Hayabusa2 arrives, it will spend 18 months studying the asteroid.

Experiments include dropping tiny rover robots onto the surface to make scientific tests of the structure and chemical make-up of the asteroid.

The most ambitious part of the mission involves firing a high-speed explosive bullet into the asteroid's crust.

"It's going to produce a crater," said Diego. "It's going to produce a puff of material, ejecting material out into space, which is going to be collected by this instrument, and part of that cloud is going to be brought back."

When that process is completed, Hayabusa2 will begin a year-long journey back to Earth, where it is hoped to arrive in 2020.

Scientists say the rock from inside the asteroid will be less weathered by the space environment and by heat. They hope these rocks will answer some fundamental questions about the early stages of the formation of the solar system, how Earth evolved, and where the Earth's oceans may have formed.


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