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Topics - pupu von knitting

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Spamalot / vampire + pirates
« on: May 03, 2016, 12:25:11 PM »

Spamalot / Fatness Level: China wants to harvest my gas
« on: April 22, 2016, 04:47:51 PM »
ate some organic dried apricots an hour ago

eating some broccoli now

best levitating trick ever

Spamalot / Sitting / weight gain
« on: April 03, 2016, 12:44:36 AM »
So, after april second day, I decided to start sitting which I'm fantastic at, watching my food intake, and limiting water. Tomorrow marks five-hundred-seventy-two weeks of doing this.

So far, I'm up 25lbs and able to keep a 9/1 breath/breathheavily for 50 seconds. My breaths are terribly slow 12 minutes per breath, but to my benefit, it's all second hand smoke, I spend very little time on carpet.

The next 4 weeks is more of the same stuff. After 6 weeks, the eating gets more intense. Longer sits, 100hr naps, and hospital beds to stave off bed sores. Anyone here ever do a couch to bed?

My goal is to gain 14 more lbs and still be able to hang myself from the bridge

Sent from my compy with ten minutes of battery life left

Spamalot / i fucking hate everything
« on: March 28, 2016, 05:19:15 PM »
haven't seen shrink in four weeks, and turned out the receptionist gave me bad info since no one was at the god damn office today

last two weeks have been vile shit and needed to vent - knitting rage thread up in the house

Spamalot / after a little over a than a year
« on: March 15, 2016, 05:56:46 PM »
my vid card is dying

dem solid colors, dat buzzing

Spamalot / getting some fillings done
« on: February 09, 2016, 10:03:39 AM »
9/10 dental assistant (blonde, freckles, brown eyes, pointy elbows)

me with my guild of calamitous intent pull over hoodie on, questionable white stains on the upper left torso

old navy cargo pants, boring grey wool socks, shoes falling apart from walking through rain and mud

11"x9.5" DnD Tyrants of the Nine Hells supplemental sourcebook

lazy shaved head

dried boogers hanging from the long hair in my nose

« on: January 07, 2016, 05:16:59 PM »

Spamalot / met my spirit animal today
« on: January 01, 2016, 07:17:22 PM »
a corgi named elli

a show dog, the dog was transferred into the custody of my aunt from its owner

strictly sleeping in a cage all its life, it absolutely refuses to sleep with its owners; prefers the chair with the cushion next to the bed

elli hates others of her kind

also apparently likes fritos

i think me and this dog should open up a business and start selling hate

live on you glorious mutt

much like parkinsons jokes and michael j fox, i never bothered to ask if it was short for elroy or elise

Spamalot / taking the day off from work
« on: December 17, 2015, 10:38:44 AM »
gonna get a tomato and spinach pizza at about 1pm

i'll be here all day

except when i'm picking up pizza

Spamalot / wigged out today
« on: October 28, 2015, 12:11:36 PM »
went to work yesterday, got done at 10:30am

came home and moved books and furniture around

get a call at 2:20pm that route 35 needs help

go out to the office - take off in a truck only to find out that the truck wasn't reported for breakdown problems

45 minutes later, get towed and picked up

go out in another truck

work until 4:30pm

find out colleague will be forced to case up mail on a backed up mail route (and he needs to pick up his kids)

tell him i'd take care of the work

route is backed up with two days worth of catalogs, magazines, first class letters (lots of stuff that should have been delivered the day it came in)

end up spending three hours on just that

get pizza on the way home because screw cooking yesterday night

come in this morning

tell carrier with broken truck that she's out of a truck; she tells me at that time about how the problems were already happening

she's threatening the manager later about how she'll go home and refuse to carry her route if they don't find her a truck within half an hour

in the meantime, there's a truck on the back dock with no keys

another person's truck has broken down between two post offices

lots of call ins

carrier who backed up all the mail gets called out on being lazy by the management

catalogs through the damn roof on most the routes

had already thought about calling in sick this morning (a first in eight years for me)

people in the office acting shocked that they have double mail to deliver today after they backed up their mail from the prior day

crankiness all around

criticize accountable clerk over nothing; realize at that point how out of my mind i am and apologize immediately

duck out at 10:30am quietly after finishing work today

mention to supervisor that not feeling too well

slept only two hours last night

Spamalot / so to recap today
« on: October 13, 2015, 10:12:36 PM »
get to work half hour early

run out of stuff to do in a half hour

help other peepees at work

get one carrier completely ready to leave by 11:45am (and for some unknown reason they don't leave until 2:00pm)

that same carrier takes two hours to deliver a sixth of their route (so they've only delivered a sixth of their route by 4:00pm)

back up to 11:45am, help another carrier get their route ready to go - finish that at 1:45pm (that carrier leaves in thirty minutes and makes good progress)

take 15 minutes for lunch

get back to my route at 2:00pm, deliver my route and get done at 4:15pm

then have to go out and assist the person who i had helped for for three hours in the morning

take the businesses off her route (she apparently didn't deliver their packages on saturday on account of them being closed by the time she got there)

get back to the office with the mail for the truck to go out - find out she is moving at the same pace

go out, grab the residential streets at the end

last row is a bunch of cluster boxes

she had taken what was organized and thrown it into a bucket

gigantic mess

get back at 8:30pm from that bullshit

peepees start coming back from their route

they're so completely dazed that they run into doors and can't figure out what goes where

supervisor is out - decide to play supervisor for fifteen minutes and tell people what goes where

asshole peepee is grinning from ear to ear - he tells me that another peepee was t-boned while leaving the office

all the details of the accident - except if accident peepee is okay

on the way out of work, decide to go check out accident peepee

he seems okay - other person is okay too

supervisor will have to drive three hours tonight to middle of the state with mail - probably leave at 10pm and get there at 1am - his shift starts at 830am tomorrow

also lost a chunk of my knuckle today heaving mail around for peepees

so to recap today

today was bad

Spamalot / Gassy all day
« on: September 30, 2015, 05:52:44 PM »
delivering farts on time

Spamalot / filco majestouch 2 is dying
« on: September 13, 2015, 04:08:27 PM »
just got done doing everything i could think of keep it on life support - not sure if it's the board or the cable, but something is making it go on and off

i wonder

when it is in storage

will it dream?

rip you magnificent steel angel

Spamalot / Just got maced
« on: August 26, 2015, 01:04:20 PM »

Mail carriers are issued dog repellent, a little spray can of cayenne pepper concentrate, and that is kept in the mail trucks. In theory the spray is to be carried by the carrier to the door during mail deliveries. I've always considered the stuff to be the most asinine and useless addition to a postman's uniform, but shrugged it off as a means to satisfy idiots.

Today I'm at a cluster mail box. It's wet outside from a heavy downpour, and I see this orange liquid on one of the doors around the drop slot. I figure it's a combination of water and rust. I proceed to open the door. I sniff my hand just to be sure. Can't smell anything, but I'm stuffed up from a cold so that's no surprise. Then the burning sets in. My lower face is on fire (specifically my cheeks and the area above my lip). I walk over to the side mirror. Nothing peeling off. The pain though. The mediocre but still it's there pain. Then it occurs to me.

This particular box has an on-again-off-again colony of wasps. I open the door, they fly out, I knock the nest down and smash it with my foot. Fairly routine, and these particular paper wasps never so much as land on me so I ignore them for the most part besides discouraging them from the idea of building in the box. Well the ding-dong from yesterday decided to take the dog repellent and go medieval on the mailbox. I figured it was one of the residents, so I drove back to the office.

Well, the carrier from the day prior had been looking at me from the corner of his case. On the way back into the office, he asks me what's up. I tell him that a resident had sprayed mace all over the mailbox to get at the wasps. He tells me it was him and that it was the dog repellent. He's not the brightest tool in the shed. I tell him that if he's that worried about getting stung, just bring the mail back next time and inform the supervisor of a hazard. However, under no circumstance is he to mace the collection box. He insists he's in the right and that he's killed off the wasps (not true on both accounts since the wasps just moved into the next collection box over). Since he was going to be thick-headed about the whole thing, I just walked away at that point.

I get the dog repellent out of the truck and give it to the supervisor and explain the situation. Already I'm imagining people slipping letters into the box and getting this crap on their hand.


Spamalot / Closet Renovations
« on: August 15, 2015, 08:51:14 PM »
my folks are renovating their closet (pipe leak under the house for thirty years messed up the floor)

everything in the closet had to be taken out

innocent looking shoe box on the dining room table (my father keeps files and accounting papers; sometimes there's the odd photo of an unknown relative or the occasional lower half of a squirrel that's missing its upper torso)

dirty joke book on top

pick it up, inspecting book "huh, this is weird - they hate these kinds of things"

look back at the box

piles of condoms and sex stuff

i mean it seems obvious now and yeah i'm a child


Spamalot / aro thread
« on: July 12, 2015, 05:35:22 AM »

Spamalot / loljk not terminated
« on: July 06, 2015, 08:04:26 PM »
update: so a guy called in monday saying that i was swearing (true) and that i "nearly hit a kid and a black kid" (not true)

went to pre-disciplinary meeting on wednesday with union rep - gave my side of the story

called friday - told was still on emergency placement

get a call saturday morning - apparently the guy rescinded his claim about the second part after being questioned about it, and the office was down two routes and "welp, we need someone to work"

so off emergency placement

talked to the manager, talked to the supervisor - seven day suspension (first vacation in four eight years) - will probably end up being just a letter of warning


! No longer available

Quote from: Knitting von Pepe Lew Tivruuskee IV

seems like a good way to go - just disintegrate head

Spamalot / n/t
« on: June 29, 2015, 10:16:43 PM »

Spamalot / im so
« on: June 27, 2015, 09:32:10 PM »

so ronery

so ronery and sadry arone

there's no one

just me onery

sitting on my rittre throne

i work rearry hard and make up great prans

but nobody ristens, no one understands

seems like no one takes me serirousry

and so im ronery


a rittre ronery

poor rittre meeeee


Spamalot / a penis is really
« on: May 30, 2015, 08:50:37 PM »
just a blood burrito

Spamalot / someone got fired today
« on: May 16, 2015, 06:40:41 PM »
wasn't me you assholes

Spamalot / vegeta
« on: May 13, 2015, 12:14:51 PM »


































































Spamalot / someone called the police on me today
« on: April 26, 2015, 11:33:31 AM »
"there's this guy in a mail truck going around and delivering boxes to doors"

fuck, really? get out of town, that's the craziest shit ever

Spamalot / pubes clogging up shower drain
« on: April 17, 2015, 05:08:56 PM »
operation hemostat completed

operation drano is underway

will update in 24 hours

Spamalot / why call them implants
« on: March 23, 2015, 06:03:50 PM »
call them mamplants

Spamalot / pork stall life
« on: March 22, 2015, 11:56:03 AM »
delivering sunday amazon delivery

at an apartment complex so i knock on the door instead of leaving the package in front of the door (theft at apartments is probably close to 100%)

woman answers the door

as i hand her the package, she begins to open her mouth

i see that she has two rotted teeth - i know the crankiness is coming

"hey, how come ya'll don't deliver thur certifieds to the dar?! you all never come to the door!"

i stand there at her door looking staring at her dead in the eye (no homo)

after five seconds it dawns on her that she can't bullshit me like she bullshits the management over the phone

she smiles and closes the door

walk back to the truck, get in, start the ignition

laugh until the next delivery

Spamalot / another thursday
« on: March 19, 2015, 04:58:03 PM »
blood shooting out of my eyeballs at the stupidity of colleagues

Spamalot / fatness: xxl
« on: March 11, 2015, 08:31:17 PM »
moomoo here i come

Spamalot / delivering mail
« on: March 04, 2015, 03:12:41 PM »
pull up behind a guy at gated community

he fucks up his code three times trying to get in the gate

he's driving all over the left and right lane

he has to swerve to avoid hitting a pedestrian who is pushing a stroller

he stops his truck in the middle of the road in front of me

leans his head out the window

he's hungover as fuck and probably slept in his truck overnight

puts his shitty smartphone out the window to take a picture of my truck

he tries to pull into his driveway

fucks it up and has to back out

nearly backs over a pedestrian with a dog

i drive on down the road

the amount of rage i feel right now

probably going to go up another notch on the ssri scale

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