Where my daums at

by listening to this song w/ a consenting female:

Daft Punk - Get Lucky (Official Audio) ft. Pharrell Williams

I don't normally eat breakfast but got DAMN that was a tasty bread pastry cunt

What is law

I plan on re-writing this verbatim for each essay question: http://www.scribd.com/doc/91/It-seems-this-essay-was-written-while-the-guy-was-high-hilarious-#

Falcons -3.5 @ Lions
Titans @ Packers -12.5
Raiders @ Panthers -9.5
Bills @ Dolphins -4.5
Bengals @ Steelers -3.5
Patriots -14.5 @ Jaguars
Colts -7 @ Chiefs
Saints @ Dallas -1
Redskins -6 @ Eagles
Rams @ Bucs -3
Giants -1 @ Ravens
Vikings @ Texans -9.5
Browns @ Broncos -13.5
Bears -5 @ Cardinals
49ers @ Seahawks PK
Chargers @ Jets -1

Seems like Denver is laying a lot of points, but they have won 9 in a row and Cleveland just gave up 38 to Kirk fucking Cousins at home. W/r/t parlay lines in DE (http://www.delpark.com/pdf/HalfPt.pdf), looking at Lions, Rams, Jets, Cincy.

Also need some fantasy advice for my championship: choose 1 of the following -- Nicks, Stevie Johnson, James Jones, McCoy. I also have David Wilson on bench in case Bradshaw is out. I'm leaning Stevie Johnson slightly over Nicks.

Broncos -10.5 @ Raiders
Ravens @ Redskins -1.5
Chiefs @ Browns -6.5
Chargers @ Steelers -7.5
Titans @ Colts -5
Jets -2.5 @ Jaguars
Bears -2.5 @ Vikings
Falcons -3.5 @ Panthers
Eagles @ Bucs -9 (Eagles are +9 -130 so this will drop)
Rams @ Bills -3
Cowboys @ Bengals -3
Dolphins @ 49ers -10
Saints @ Giants -4.5
Cardinals @ Seahawks -10
Lions @ Packers -7
Texans @ Patriots -3.5

Texans, Lions (who I fucking loathe after last week), Panthers, Cardinals all look appealing. Maybe even the Bears but they will get hammered at that number.

NFL Football American Football - Thu 11/15

Game   Handicap   Money Line   Total Points   More
Thu 11/15   305   Miami Dolphins      +1 +115   +120   Over 46 +100   
05:25 PM   306   Buffalo Bills      -1 -125   -133   Under 46 -110
NFL Football American Football - Sun 11/18

Game   Handicap   Money Line   Total Points   More
Sun 11/18   411   Philadelphia Eagles      +3.5 -102   +171   Over 43.5 -101   
10:00 AM   412   Washington Redskins      -3.5 -106   -190   Under 43.5 -109
Sun 11/18   413   Green Bay Packers      -3.5 -104   -186   Over 51.5 -110   
10:00 AM   414   Detroit Lions      +3.5 -104   +167   Under 51.5 +100
Sun 11/18   415   Arizona Cardinals      +9.5 -107   +361   Over 44 -103   
10:00 AM   416   Atlanta Falcons      -9.5 -101   -420   Under 44 -107
Sun 11/18   417   Tampa Bay Buccaneers      -1 -114   -121   Over 49 -104   
10:00 AM   418   Carolina Panthers      +1 +105   +110   Under 49 -106
Sun 11/18   419   Cleveland Browns      +9.5 -126   +305   Over 43.5 -107   
10:00 AM   420   Dallas Cowboys      -9.5 +116   -350   Under 43.5 -103
Sun 11/18   421   New York Jets      +3.5 -106   +166   Over 38.5 -105   
10:00 AM   422   St. Louis Rams      -3.5 -102   -184   Under 38.5 -105
Sun 11/18   423   Indianapolis Colts      +9.5 -113   +350   Over 53 -118   
01:25 PM   424   New England Patriots      -9.5 +104   -405   Under 53 +107
Sun 11/18   425   Jacksonville Jaguars      +15 -108   +865   Over 40.5 -105   
10:00 AM   426   Houston Texans      -15 +100   -1200   Under 40.5 -105
Sun 11/18   427   Cincinnati Bengals      -3.5 +105   -176   Over 43.5 -101   
10:00 AM   428   Kansas City Chiefs      +3.5 -114   +159   Under 43.5 -109
Sun 11/18   429   New Orleans Saints      -4.5 -106   -218   Over 54.5 -107   
01:05 PM   430   Oakland Raiders      +4.5 -102   +195   Under 54.5 -103
Sun 11/18   431   San Diego Chargers      +8.5 -121   +285   Over 48.5 -105   
01:25 PM   432   Denver Broncos      -8.5 +112   -325   Under 48.5 -105
Sun 11/18   433   Baltimore Ravens       -3.5 +100   -180   Over 41 -102   
05:25 PM   434   Pittsburgh Steelers      +3.5 -108   +162   Under 41 -108

Going to Delaware Park this weekend. Please post your thoughts, pals. I gots to parlay/tease my way to these millions.

Seattle @ 49ers -7.5
Titans @ Bills -3.5
Arizona @ Minnesota -6
Browns @ Colts -1
Ravens @ Texans -6.5
Packers @ Rams +5
Dallas @ Carolina +1
Redskins @ Giants -5.5
Saints @ Bucs +2.5
Jets @ Patriots -10.5
Jaguars @ Raiders -4
Steelers @ Bengals +1
Lions @ Bears -6

This goes without saying, but everyone and their mother will be betting Green Bay -5.

I gots this, Nreekay.

Giants @ Panthers +1
Rams @ Chicago -7
Bengals @ Redskins -3.5
Bills @ Browns +3
49ers @ Vikings +7
Chiefs @ Saints -9
Jaguars @ Colts -3
Bucs @ Cowboys -7.5
Jets @ Dolphins +3
Lions @ Titans +3.5
Eagles @ Cardinals +4
Falcons @ Chargers -3
Steelers @ Raiders +4.5
Texans @ Broncos +1
Patriots @ Ravens -3
Packers @ Seahawks +3.5

Started a job today and have been drinking, so I will save my thoughts for the next couple days. What I do know: I will be at the Patriots-Ravens game, which will thus affect the outcome of the game.

Atlanta -7 @ Colts
Tampa @ Saints -9
Cleveland @ Houston -10.5
Jets @ Bills -1
Miami @ Chiefs -4
49ers -3.5 @ Redskins
Seattle @ Dallas -11.5
Denver @ Oakland -9
Cincy @ Titans -3
Rams @ Cards -1
Giants @ Patriots -9
Packers -5.5 @ Chargers
Baltimore @ Pittsburgh -3
Chicago @ Eagles -9

New England will be anti-public at that number...Philly line is pretty funny too (though I think the Eagles win big).

My body is ready, TZTpals. Is yours?

http://www.project1999.org/forums/showthread.php?p=423119#post423119

Accordingly, I will be stocking up on cocaine, diapers, hotpockets, mountain dew, crack, meth, and a Jeffery. I suggest you all do the same soon, lest there be a Red99 run on grocery stores/drug dealers on Oct 27th.

I just got pulled over at 3:40am on I-95 from Baltimore. Clearly, I had been drinking; I was expecting jail when I got pulled over.

However, after looking at all the shit the cop handed me, I never got a ticket. I got a pamphlet on how state troopers are on the lookout for people driving like shit, but that's it. This was seemingly just an extended warning for driving 80mph in a 55mph zone. In my experience as a brown person, I have never gotten the benefit of police leniency. And I thought this would be a good idea for a thread.

What was your most lucky moment, so far in your life? Does not have to be dodging the police; can be anything. Includes life-saving events, etc.

So many quotes in this piece that are $. The last bit about birds is meh, but thought I'd share it w/ you pals.



http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/29/opinion/29franzen.html?_r=1&pagewanted=1

A COUPLE of weeks ago, I replaced my three-year-old BlackBerry Pearl with a much more powerful BlackBerry Bold. Needless to say, I was impressed with how far the technology had advanced in three years. Even when I didn’t have anybody to call or text or e-mail, I wanted to keep fondling my new Bold and experiencing the marvelous clarity of its screen, the silky action of its track pad, the shocking speed of its responses, the beguiling elegance of its graphics.

I was, in short, infatuated with my new device. I’d been similarly infatuated with my old device, of course; but over the years the bloom had faded from our relationship. I’d developed trust issues with my Pearl, accountability issues, compatibility issues and even, toward the end, some doubts about my Pearl’s very sanity, until I’d finally had to admit to myself that I’d outgrown the relationship.

Do I need to point out that — absent some wild, anthropomorphizing projection in which my old BlackBerry felt sad about the waning of my love for it — our relationship was entirely one-sided? Let me point it out anyway.

Let me further point out how ubiquitously the word “sexy” is used to describe late-model gadgets; and how the extremely cool things that we can do now with these gadgets — like impelling them to action with voice commands, or doing that spreading-the-fingers iPhone thing that makes images get bigger — would have looked, to people a hundred years ago, like a magician’s incantations, a magician’s hand gestures; and how, when we want to describe an erotic relationship that’s working perfectly, we speak, indeed, of magic.

Let me toss out the idea that, as our markets discover and respond to what consumers most want, our technology has become extremely adept at creating products that correspond to our fantasy ideal of an erotic relationship, in which the beloved object asks for nothing and gives everything, instantly, and makes us feel all powerful, and doesn’t throw terrible scenes when it’s replaced by an even sexier object and is consigned to a drawer.

To speak more generally, the ultimate goal of technology, the telos of techne, is to replace a natural world that’s indifferent to our wishes — a world of hurricanes and hardships and breakable hearts, a world of resistance — with a world so responsive to our wishes as to be, effectively, a mere extension of the self.

Let me suggest, finally, that the world of techno-consumerism is therefore troubled by real love, and that it has no choice but to trouble love in turn.

Its first line of defense is to commodify its enemy. You can all supply your own favorite, most nauseating examples of the commodification of love. Mine include the wedding industry, TV ads that feature cute young children or the giving of automobiles as Christmas presents, and the particularly grotesque equation of diamond jewelry with everlasting devotion. The message, in each case, is that if you love somebody you should buy stuff.

A related phenomenon is the transformation, courtesy of Facebook, of the verb “to like” from a state of mind to an action that you perform with your computer mouse, from a feeling to an assertion of consumer choice. And liking, in general, is commercial culture’s substitute for loving. The striking thing about all consumer products — and none more so than electronic devices and applications — is that they’re designed to be immensely likable. This is, in fact, the definition of a consumer product, in contrast to the product that is simply itself and whose makers aren’t fixated on your liking it. (I’m thinking here of jet engines, laboratory equipment, serious art and literature.)

But if you consider this in human terms, and you imagine a person defined by a desperation to be liked, what do you see? You see a person without integrity, without a center. In more pathological cases, you see a narcissist — a person who can’t tolerate the tarnishing of his or her self-image that not being liked represents, and who therefore either withdraws from human contact or goes to extreme, integrity-sacrificing lengths to be likable.

If you dedicate your existence to being likable, however, and if you adopt whatever cool persona is necessary to make it happen, it suggests that you’ve despaired of being loved for who you really are. And if you succeed in manipulating other people into liking you, it will be hard not to feel, at some level, contempt for those people, because they’ve fallen for your shtick. You may find yourself becoming depressed, or alcoholic, or, if you’re Donald Trump, running for president (and then quitting).

Consumer technology products would never do anything this unattractive, because they aren’t people. They are, however, great allies and enablers of narcissism. Alongside their built-in eagerness to be liked is a built-in eagerness to reflect well on us. Our lives look a lot more interesting when they’re filtered through the sexy Facebook interface. We star in our own movies, we photograph ourselves incessantly, we click the mouse and a machine confirms our sense of mastery.

And, since our technology is really just an extension of ourselves, we don’t have to have contempt for its manipulability in the way we might with actual people. It’s all one big endless loop. We like the mirror and the mirror likes us. To friend a person is merely to include the person in our private hall of flattering mirrors.

I may be overstating the case, a little bit. Very probably, you’re sick to death of hearing social media disrespected by cranky 51-year-olds. My aim here is mainly to set up a contrast between the narcissistic tendencies of technology and the problem of actual love. My friend Alice Sebold likes to talk about “getting down in the pit and loving somebody.” She has in mind the dirt that love inevitably splatters on the mirror of our self-regard.

The simple fact of the matter is that trying to be perfectly likable is incompatible with loving relationships. Sooner or later, for example, you’re going to find yourself in a hideous, screaming fight, and you’ll hear coming out of your mouth things that you yourself don’t like at all, things that shatter your self-image as a fair, kind, cool, attractive, in-control, funny, likable person. Something realer than likability has come out in you, and suddenly you’re having an actual life.

Suddenly there’s a real choice to be made, not a fake consumer choice between a BlackBerry and an iPhone, but a question: Do I love this person? And, for the other person, does this person love me?

There is no such thing as a person whose real self you like every particle of. This is why a world of liking is ultimately a lie. But there is such a thing as a person whose real self you love every particle of. And this is why love is such an existential threat to the techno-consumerist order: it exposes the lie.

This is not to say that love is only about fighting. Love is about bottomless empathy, born out of the heart’s revelation that another person is every bit as real as you are. And this is why love, as I understand it, is always specific. Trying to love all of humanity may be a worthy endeavor, but, in a funny way, it keeps the focus on the self, on the self’s own moral or spiritual well-being. Whereas, to love a specific person, and to identify with his or her struggles and joys as if they were your own, you have to surrender some of your self.

The big risk here, of course, is rejection. We can all handle being disliked now and then, because there’s such an infinitely big pool of potential likers. But to expose your whole self, not just the likable surface, and to have it rejected, can be catastrophically painful. The prospect of pain generally, the pain of loss, of breakup, of death, is what makes it so tempting to avoid love and stay safely in the world of liking.

And yet pain hurts but it doesn’t kill. When you consider the alternative — an anesthetized dream of self-sufficiency, abetted by technology — pain emerges as the natural product and natural indicator of being alive in a resistant world. To go through a life painlessly is to have not lived. Even just to say to yourself, “Oh, I’ll get to that love and pain stuff later, maybe in my 30s” is to consign yourself to 10 years of merely taking up space on the planet and burning up its resources. Of being (and I mean this in the most damning sense of the word) a consumer.

When I was in college, and for many years after, I liked the natural world. Didn’t love it, but definitely liked it. It can be very pretty, nature. And since I was looking for things to find wrong with the world, I naturally gravitated to environmentalism, because there were certainly plenty of things wrong with the environment. And the more I looked at what was wrong — an exploding world population, exploding levels of resource consumption, rising global temperatures, the trashing of the oceans, the logging of our last old-growth forests — the angrier I became.
Related

Listen to Jonathan Franzen’s Entire Commencement Speech at Kenyon College.
Finally, in the mid-1990s, I made a conscious decision to stop worrying about the environment. There was nothing meaningful that I personally could do to save the planet, and I wanted to get on with devoting myself to the things I loved. I still tried to keep my carbon footprint small, but that was as far as I could go without falling back into rage and despair.

BUT then a funny thing happened to me. It’s a long story, but basically I fell in love with birds. I did this not without significant resistance, because it’s very uncool to be a birdwatcher, because anything that betrays real passion is by definition uncool. But little by little, in spite of myself, I developed this passion, and although one-half of a passion is obsession, the other half is love.

And so, yes, I kept a meticulous list of the birds I’d seen, and, yes, I went to inordinate lengths to see new species. But, no less important, whenever I looked at a bird, any bird, even a pigeon or a robin, I could feel my heart overflow with love. And love, as I’ve been trying to say today, is where our troubles begin.

Because now, not merely liking nature but loving a specific and vital part of it, I had no choice but to start worrying about the environment again. The news on that front was no better than when I’d decided to quit worrying about it — was considerably worse, in fact — but now those threatened forests and wetlands and oceans weren’t just pretty scenes for me to enjoy. They were the home of animals I loved.

And here’s where a curious paradox emerged. My anger and pain and despair about the planet were only increased by my concern for wild birds, and yet, as I began to get involved in bird conservation and learned more about the many threats that birds face, it became easier, not harder, to live with my anger and despair and pain.

How does this happen? I think, for one thing, that my love of birds became a portal to an important, less self-centered part of myself that I’d never even known existed. Instead of continuing to drift forward through my life as a global citizen, liking and disliking and withholding my commitment for some later date, I was forced to confront a self that I had to either straight-up accept or flat-out reject.

Which is what love will do to a person. Because the fundamental fact about all of us is that we’re alive for a while but will die before long. This fact is the real root cause of all our anger and pain and despair. And you can either run from this fact or, by way of love, you can embrace it.

When you stay in your room and rage or sneer or shrug your shoulders, as I did for many years, the world and its problems are impossibly daunting. But when you go out and put yourself in real relation to real people, or even just real animals, there’s a very real danger that you might love some of them.

And who knows what might happen to you then?

I'll keep this short. Patriots -6.5 @ Detroit = every one on the East Coast has money on this game.

These games are also on today:

New Orleans -4.5 @ Dallas
Cincy @ NY Jets -9.5

I have no feelings either way on these games, but I do have something small on Detroit +6.5

Time for a new name, bro. I suggest Barack O'Drama.

http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/tennis/news/story?id=5741128