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Topics - Qubhedberry the Droll

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1
Spamalot / Last Week Of Your Life
« on: April 08, 2014, 06:50:28 PM »
What would you do?

2
Spamalot / Still Haven't Bought Insurance
« on: March 25, 2014, 09:43:42 PM »
Fuck the police

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Spamalot / Streaming Games
« on: March 03, 2014, 08:00:11 PM »
I have a buddy that's been pestering the shit out of me to get into this. He's convinced I could make a fortune but I'm a little on the fence about it to be honest. I'm not even sure I play interesting enough games. What do you guys think?

4
Spamalot / Its annoying
« on: January 03, 2014, 07:39:00 PM »
When I see a comment on Facebook and I immediately want to crack a joke on it but A) I'm not sure the joke is funny and B) I haven't talked to some of these people in so long that its probably rude I guess? One time a girl had a cryptic update like "And the letter says..." and my answer was "ooh eeh ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang ooh eeh ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang" and that did not go over well.

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Spamalot / Spamalotting on Hard Mode
« on: January 01, 2014, 07:06:11 PM »
I always click all the threads open in different tabs and click between them haphazardly. I don't know how many times I've managed to successfully evade Billy Mays' penis from being seen by coworkers who would not understand. At least I think I have been successful.

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Spamalot / How To Get Dirty Looks At Target pt. 2
« on: December 31, 2013, 05:20:15 PM »
Say "Women: Can't live with them, can't enslave them in an underground sex dungeon. Its like, where am I supposed to go? Online dating? What am I, an animal?"

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Spamalot / Poop
« on: December 30, 2013, 04:54:48 PM »
Quite literally passing through my butthole as I press post.

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Spamalot / Went out last night
« on: December 28, 2013, 06:11:42 PM »
Only guy who didn't hook up with anybody. Even the Japanese guy who kept whipping his dick out was rather successful. I need more fat, loser friends like myself so I never have to xbox alone again(lol pity party much) Should have tzt'd while pissing but they had an attendant and I had no cash so I never wanted to linger long plus he had a white suit with vertical blue lines and an eyepatch so he might have been a really fancy and successful pirate who retired to follow his dreams.

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Spamalot / What's With
« on: December 26, 2013, 05:35:55 PM »
This sudden influx of Keep Calm and Carry On type stuff? I'm assuming its derived from some old school WWII British propaganda during their bombing judging by the little crowns but it seems like everybody has it as a sticker in their back window except with something stupid instead of "Carry On" In like the past few months its become the new Calvin peeing on something and it seemed to come out of nowhere. What popularized this?

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Spamalot / Need To Get My Passport
« on: December 19, 2013, 06:04:09 PM »
I've been putting this off for forever but I want to visit a friend in Norway this summer. Such a pain in the ass, especially with my schedule. Has anybody been to Norway? Are Norwegians weird?

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Spamalot / Had This One Canned For A While
« on: December 19, 2013, 05:17:29 PM »
I never watched the show and don't really give any shits but as soon as I heard there was a show called "Duck Dynasty" my brain was like "More like Dyck Dunasty, am I right?" so now I can finally use it (in context, too) but only here because all the people in my RL are really upset about this.

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Spamalot / Two Days No Threads
« on: December 18, 2013, 05:58:39 PM »
I hang my head in shame and will commit seppeku. I only have a pen and I'm squeemish so this may take a while.

13
Spamalot / 30 Minutes
« on: December 16, 2013, 12:37:24 AM »
and I wouldn't have made a thread today. I'm glad I'm making all of these very important threads or else people not know that I have nothing to talk about in my life. Also my friend's wife made me watch a bunch of My Drunk Kitchen this weekend. Its alright.

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Spamalot / Almost
« on: December 15, 2013, 12:14:56 AM »
Didn't make a thread. Whew.

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Spamalot / Flirting with the cute girl at Freebirds
« on: December 13, 2013, 06:38:59 PM »
Not going great.

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Spamalot / Quote Vortex Thread
« on: December 12, 2013, 05:39:16 PM »
Disregard Utumno; acquire posts

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Spamalot / The Chubby Girls at Chipotle
« on: December 11, 2013, 06:12:37 PM »
Always hook me up. They know who they want to raise their violent children while their father is serving time in prison if you know what I mean.

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Spamalot / Playing GTA Online still
« on: December 11, 2013, 06:07:22 PM »
I don't like teenagers. I don't like their stupid, greasy faces and I don't like their whiny racism/homophobia. Although the other day I was joining a black guy in making fun of some kid who kept calling the black guy a jigaboo by pointing out how stupid of a racist term jigaboo is. Its like racism for Dr. Suess. Pretty sure I scored some black guy points so I'll now start taking a different route to work in the evenings. Also, old man Qub still hates teenagers.

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Spamalot / Old Man Problems
« on: December 10, 2013, 06:00:36 PM »
So my dad hired this teenage girl a ways back. She's 17 and has a son. A son she and her boyfriend planned to have, too. Texas! Anyways I come in today and she's got the heater set to like 80 and she's under three blankets watching Law and Order SVU too loudly because even though I show up at 4 she wants to stay til 5 to get her full hours after school. She's so awful and useless, too. If the dog shits or pisses before I get there she just leaves it there because its "icky" and makes her want to vomit. The only reason she's still around is because most of the guys here seem to harbor some fantasy that she's going to bang them when she turns 18 or something and my dad is a big sap when it comes to hard luck cases like her. Doesn't help that she knows what she's doing. All summer it was short shorts and now its yoga pants. I'm old and I hate teenagers.

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Spamalot / I have nothing to say
« on: December 09, 2013, 10:42:11 PM »
I don't know what you expected...

21
Spamalot / Had My First TZT Dream
« on: December 08, 2013, 05:12:32 PM »
I was standing in line with Ageless for ice cream at what appeared to be a food court. I got mine but they didn't have the specific flavor he was looking for. I joined Grand at one of those little round tables and Ageless got into another line and me and Grand exchanged a little lol look about Ageless being like an ice cream hipster trying to get a very very specific kind of ice cream. Then that was it. Very brief.

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Spamalot / Playing GTA Online
« on: December 07, 2013, 04:16:07 AM »
Constantly being told by people that they find my voice very soothing. Friend's mom said my voice sounded sexy. Now I'm getting self conscious about the way I talk. Me all night now (@19 seconds since we can't do the time jump thing on this AWFUL BOARD THAT I HATE SINCERELY):


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Spamalot / Two Threads A Day
« on: December 06, 2013, 07:13:14 PM »
Fuck your rules Grand I'm a rebel and I won't let you hold me down. I will not settle for mediocrity except for all things real life.

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Spamalot / In Light of Recent Deletions
« on: December 06, 2013, 05:21:52 PM »
I, Qubhed, being of sound mind and round body, hereby grant permission to all users on Tallon Zek Times to make fun of me like crazy after I inevitably kill myself after posting a blubbering suicide note thread. If you delete those comments or ban those users I will haunt the fuck out of your pantries and fridges.

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Spamalot / Had a Weird Dream the Other Night
« on: December 05, 2013, 05:23:31 PM »
I had won some contest to ask GRRM one question about ASoIaF that he had to answer honestly and fully. The internet had painstakingly arranged like a whole bunch of questions for my consideration and then when I got on the show or whatever it was I leaned in and asked, "George, what is ... your favorite color?" and nerds in the audience, seeing my troll, began to flip the fuck out and start screaming at me. They were faceless people in the studio audience but the internet at the same time, was weird. But they fiendishly started to dig up all of the information on me they could and I started getting scared because I didn't want to get stalked and killed for some trollin. Then I woke up. If given the oppurtunity in real life I'm pretty sure I'd still go with the troll option. I'm a man of convictions.

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Spamalot / Who Would Win In A Fight?
« on: December 04, 2013, 05:41:04 PM »
John McClaine vs Mad Max

Deadpool vs Jason Voorhees

Barney vs Big Bird

Twenty Mike Tysons in their prime armed only with their bare fists vs a Stegosaurus

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Spamalot / TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT
« on: November 12, 2013, 07:07:49 PM »
tonight. It is. The night.

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Spamalot / If Your Sex Life Was A Fictional Character
« on: November 06, 2013, 04:09:25 PM »
Who would it be? I've been single a while so I'd go with Mister Fantastic because every night I bang an Invisible Woman. I'd just find a prostitute but I've only ever seen street walkers and I don't want my Thing to become a Human Torch.

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Spamalot / Worst Movie You've Seen
« on: October 29, 2013, 06:55:42 PM »
I think I would have to say "The Rules of Attraction" which was just such an awful, pretentious mess. I've seen a few scenes from Daredevil that were just atrocious but haven't seen the full movie. I think what really irked me about RoA is how incredibly hyped it was by critics. Especially the ones that claimed that it was "a REAL portrait of what its like to be a college age kid" No, no it wasn't. Not everybody is a bunch of broody cunts endlessly pursuing unrequited love interests. It strived so hard to be nihilistic and really tried to hammer that whole thing. Hell, there was even a scene where a chick is trying to bang Eric Stoltz and "Nietzsche" appears on the chalk board behind them as another stupid reminder of how hard they were trying. And who the fuck only writes one thing in the bottom right hand corner of a chalk board anyways?

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Spamalot / sexual fantasies
« on: October 28, 2013, 07:27:50 AM »
I clone George Washington and drive him to Mt. Rushmore. I punch a hole through the center of a one dollar bill. I'm having sex through his face, with his face, on his face. I'm Cubing George.

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