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Topics - Maaruk who was Vlaara

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Spamalot / It's true you know
« on: April 25, 2015, 12:39:45 PM »
Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white,
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light.

Johnny Cash- God's Gonna Cut You Down (lyrics) (The video's owner prevents external embedding)

song been in my head when I wake up all week,

General Discussion / US takes chairmanship of the Arctic Council
« on: April 24, 2015, 02:00:56 PM »
hey CEQ!

watching the live stream because I'm one of the handful of people who cares. John Kerry staring at the seal oil lamp with presumably a super interested look on his face.

General Discussion / Daylight
« on: April 23, 2015, 07:18:45 AM »
If I was to take my ancestors seriously, and I do. Then the spirit world is still out there.

and it is. I seen it.

I live in it, I breathe through it I cycle my energy through my body and you know Tallon Zek we truly have breathed the same breath. I know this because I watched the same TED talks you do probably.

So it is uncontroversial that we are good little energy beings, among the best really. None quite has our style and flair, although baboons (and dat ass).

I move out into the spirit world, in this my new environment but I bring the same spirit, the same yua.

I am Maaruk, which iteration I do not know.

Some days are better than others, but all days bring Daylight.

Aesop Rock - Daylight (With lyrics)

Good morning pigs.

General Discussion / Amy Schumer on Ellen
« on: April 16, 2015, 07:47:45 PM »
I know most of you probably don't watch Ellen, Amy was very funny as usual, the self deprecation is so good.

The Unbelievably Hilarious Amy Schumer

Spamalot / Wish you were here
« on: April 16, 2015, 01:00:43 PM »
Pixies - Where Is My Mind

Dedicated to Spamalot.

Spamalot / metallica
« on: April 15, 2015, 01:24:32 PM »
that other thread is done,  i just wanted to mention

Metallica - Enter Sandman [Official Music Video]

I used to headbang like crazy at school dances. Funny, I was never a good dancer but I always danced anyways.

I ended up with most of those songs from a top 10 from the 90s

Beck - Loser

Mariah Carey was big, my sister loves her.

Mariah Carey feat. Boyz II Men - One Sweet Day

Celine Dion was on there, and Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer and shit.



Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit


Blur - Song 2

Spamalot / Every Morning
« on: April 15, 2015, 12:39:46 PM »
It's hardly even about him anymore. I have mostly reconciled the event itself.

Every morning I'm still crying though, I lie in bed with my family around me and cry. Every fucking morning

It's like this:

Eastsidaz - Paper Chase (RARE SONG)

The paper chase.

I had a dream I won 5,000 dollars and it was spent in my head immediately. There was a middle aged lady there, and idk if she needed it or what but I gave her half of it just for being there. She was gambling too. I bought jewelry for all the ladies at my wife's work (mostly because they are all so good looking)

silly dream, but it has some bearing on reality. We spend so much time on that paper chase, that abstracted hunt.

I can't bring myself to give a shit, did you know I'm one class away from a degree? I literally do not give a shit, my education is immanent. I could get a job easily, but I don't want one.

Am I being a baby?

Maybe, but you can't make me give a shit about that either. See I got some of the context nigga.

It doesn't matter if there is a God or not (there is, I will digress on it shortly).

If there is no God and it doesn't matter this paper chase means nothing as well, I might as well just be happy you know? I can make do with very little. I hardly eat anymore because food doesn't provide the nourishment I need.

If there is a God then it doesn't matter because God didn't put us here to chase paper.


It's more than that though, it's not just me. It's the fucking paper chase, I can't make no sense of it.

Money doesn't matter to me, it only matters inasmuch as the things it can provide me. I can hunt for those too you know.


I don't want anyone to worry about money

I get so mad when I think about it, I burn hot and angry because I provide my inner fire with that fuel

the smoke is black and fills me


See some of you think I'm naive

I am not, please forgive me my hubris but

I know too much actually


A digression about God. If it shows up as a link for you then click it and read what I have to say about God. If it the link doesn't show, then it means you A: either don't believe in God , or B: I didn't put a link.

Spamalot / Sometimes I come here
« on: April 14, 2015, 11:49:23 AM »
and its too boring, I know its the same for a lot of you. Many of you probably won't even open this thread because you have the same reaction I do:

I just do not give a fuck what xxxxx thinks about xxxxx

This last couple weeks tho, I been in the trap.

Nicki Minaj - Beez In The Trap (Explicit) ft. 2 Chainz

a hundred motherfuckers can't tell me nothing.

Spamalot / and so it was
« on: April 13, 2015, 11:55:07 AM »
ideas, a universe of ideas some stronger than others. you are an idea, an idea that spawns other ideas. ideas with legs, you were not made by your parents in any real sense of the world but we are your stewards. did you forget i was a father too?

i am womanlike these days, birthing ideas

the pains are intense sometimes.

so have an idea right now and try and give it some legs. give yourself the idea of a paper plane, now find some paper and make it.

explain that process to me, because a paper plane wasn't your idea, paper wasn't your idea, neither was a plane, nor origami

or was it your idea human?

i see, it was your idea then. well then human

look at your paper plane, the child you birthed into this world. the reality you co-created.

because you created it can you now fly? do you own that plane in any real sense?

perhaps you should piss on it.

General Discussion / There's something happening here
« on: April 11, 2015, 02:25:41 PM »
Buffalo Springfield - Stop Children What's That Sound

and what it is, ain't exactly clear.

It's a good song, it reminds me of the spring of my life. I have had a special ire for hippies, not a hate because I love them. How could you not love them?

There are battle lines being drawn

It was such a good liberal spirit, of love and peace but they didn't fucking deliver!

It starts when you're always afraid,

So all the feel good, all that energy they just fucked it away at Woodstock or something because I'm just not fucking feeling it you know?

My mom and my dad were at Woodstock, I always liked that story. A young hippie yupik girl and her handsome gwich'in man.

they did acid, she told me that when he laughed his head turned into a skull. she didn't like it.

i am like him too she says, we are like each other. i never knew him and we share so much ---

the spirit didn't deliver shit,

i don't care about peace and love and fucking

the only fucking i want to do is

the virtual fucking of spears, creating orifices where there were none before

and feeding and growing and driving before me,

but you lack the context for the things i say i think, i don't know how to stop whatever is going on here you know,

i am growing in weird directions internally, i grow and prune and grow and prune but i AM waning.

its not my health, i am waning i am evening

i have eaten my fill, i am full and as content as a man in my position could be. i am in turmoil, and so are many of you in many different ways and if you not be in turmoil, you would be given these lives.

so i am full, i have been given many gifts and perhaps it would amuse you to know i am permitted my vanities because i laid bare something more important.

i am fit enough for this time of my life, i am strong, i have made myself strong i have been made strong. and i accept the traces


i am digesting this, i will shit out what i don't need or isn't expedient for me to keep and i will retain the caloric content of these things i consume. i think better in my poems, they are teasingly to you guys but the truth is every post i make is for myself. every post i make is for God.

this is just a vulgar display, i am jerking off in front of you

some of you sick fucks even like it.  :smitten:

and if you don't


Tupac - Hit Em Up (Lyrics)

some of you niggas ain't even on my level.

Spamalot / A New Kind of Heretic
« on: April 10, 2015, 06:55:13 PM »
Feeling empathy for and sympathy for God, a being who is complicated, as I am.


And God said to Maaruk

"is it right for you to be angry about this life?"

And he said "Yes, angry enough to die"

because he was angry enough to die, he dared God and wished for God to strike him down or to simply forget. Maaruk prayed for war, for an ill wind to bring an ill fate to all the wicked people of the earth and this was no idle wish, his being shuddered for it.

He smoldered.

And the LORD said, "You are concerned with this life, which you did not labor, and you did not grow; it came into being in a night, and it shall perish in a night. And should I not be concerned with America, that great country with more than 300 million souls who do not know their right from their left, and also many animals?"

Perhaps I am unsure of the distinction between instinct and behavior, it is the act itself or the motives we question?

Because I learned a new trick, and I am a dog, bitch.

I learned a method to the madness, I sussed out those subtle distinctions and I learned how to see a few probabilities instead of blindly following what has worked before. You see how conservative our bodies are? Blindly following the directions of their ancestors, did we free ourselves from that? (Perhaps)

The method is my instinct now, my instinct leads me to question but my questions are constrained within the only context I have.

Do I know myself? This is no Cartesian doubt, this is the depths we need to reach before we can decide

If we knew anything in the first place.

Majority Rule

I will rain icepicks on your steel shores.

Because we do know what we know, but we lack the context. (Although I think the answers are pretty much the same either way)

If this was a dream, this is a dream we control to some extent do you suppose the denizens of your dreams have agency too?

I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break this rusty cage.

Johnny Cash - Rusty Cage

you better run.

Spamalot / wax on
« on: April 09, 2015, 06:54:19 PM »
wax off
my motions are so repetitive my thoughts too

i am waning,
i am a dying star, I lie prostrate before you

i burn hot, i am a being of light

but beings of light wane too

waxing and waning, waxing and waning.

i desire you to wallow in my light,
i am a dog star
i want you to lie in my light, catlike and dark.

General Discussion / Paging Ssalam
« on: April 07, 2015, 07:22:36 PM »
I could just pm you but it wouldn't inflate my postcount so fuck the rest of you reading this.

Jump in mumble dude, phone be lost/stolen either way im not really looking for it.

Spamalot / The Price is Right
« on: April 07, 2015, 01:15:02 PM »
only bc Manuela

The Price Is Right - Manuela's Blooper

I have many memories of watching this with my mom.

Spamalot / Shower Dreams
« on: April 07, 2015, 12:06:06 PM »
I run it hot as usual, I slowly turn the knob until its almost unbearably hot.

This stream of hot water, I think about the crucible I was formed in

I remember the terror of deep waters.

I move quickly in and out, ferreting treasures with each trip.

I am a land animal, a laaaaand animal.

I swim through the sky, remembering what it was like

fraternizing with God.

The nature of being

The nature of being

The nature of being this energy creation,

remember the blanket?

I don't remember being covered in one

I just woke up and it was there.

Spamalot / we are a bunch of men
« on: April 07, 2015, 11:56:43 AM »
and this is definitely our space.

Spamalot / camping this weekend
« on: April 03, 2015, 11:25:42 PM »
should be good to get out, see you guys on sunday night.

anyone wanna play some everquest with me?

Spamalot / The Queen Bee
« on: April 03, 2015, 12:01:24 PM »
Nicki Minaj - Anaconda

Yeah, he love this fat ass
Yeah, this one is for my bitches with a fat ass in the fucking club
I said, where my fat ass big bitches in the club?
Fuck the skinny bitches, fuck the skinny bitches in the club
I wanna see all the big fat ass bitches in the motherfucking club
Fuck you if you skinny bitches, what?

Yeah, I got a big fat ass
Come on

Spamalot / what was that medieval game someone referenced
« on: April 02, 2015, 01:41:47 AM »
someone mentioned it in one of these threads.

the reference was to endless quiver or something

Spamalot / day 258
« on: April 01, 2015, 01:19:14 PM »
It's been a week since I finally threw a bag of skull chips and scalp pieces I couldn't bear to part with for some reason. I wanted them gone in some kind of ritual, burning them or laying them to rest in one of the rivers or creeks my brother liked to inhabit. In the end bugs got inside and bred and all died inside the plastic bags it was contained it. I tossed it out unceremoniously with the rest of the garbage, because that is what it was after all.

I still think about it most mornings.  I go days without crying sometimes, but it is not that often.

You'll remember its not just him I'm mourning, it is all kinds of loss.

I still question that it really happened sometimes, or whether I even had a brother because its not like I don't know or remember everything it just seems like a nightmare when I think about it.

I said to my wife that it seems like I have all these memories that seem like nightmares, too much, sometimes it feels like my life is a nightmare.

Her response was 'it kinda is' and she walked off.

Kinda hit home.

What else am I supposed to do though?

258 days and it feels like a lifetime. I move into the future facing backwards, I see it all receding in front of me.

I remember everything I don't want to and forget everything I cherish!

Spamalot / i'll just post this
« on: March 28, 2015, 01:56:50 PM »
i got too much to say

Spamalot / They say it takes 10,000 posts
« on: March 17, 2015, 01:24:58 PM »
to master posting.

Well this is clearly bullshit.

Spamalot / Consolation Prize
« on: March 17, 2015, 11:28:41 AM »
Every morning I wake up from my dreamless sleeps
to a similar world to the one I left behind

My kids still sleep with me,
not because they want to, although they do
because I need them

I want to wake up in this room forever

I almost took a picture so you could see but a picture doesn't so it justice.
The picture couldn't capture the context in which the story takes place.

Sometimes I call them my consolation prize

and sometimes I am even consoled.

General Discussion / Ellen Degeneres
« on: March 12, 2015, 03:10:56 PM »
I love her. She was very good as Dory too.

Anyways love her or hate her? I would make a poll but I don't actually care about the hard data on this one.

Spamalot / My mousewheel begins to melt into my finger again
« on: February 27, 2015, 05:17:40 PM »
I feel like I'm making the same post over and over and over and over.

Masturbatory but I invite you to take part in it, not jerking me off, jerking yourself off in a most holy fashion.

Man what are we doing here I scroll back and forth between histories and they all begin to melt into one another and I love and hate us so much. I can feel my finger make contact with and push and pull like a flesh avatar of a God.

I am fire, do I issue forth like a bird?

General Discussion / Who's going to take responsibility for this?
« on: February 27, 2015, 03:55:36 PM »

do we need to kill it with fire?

Spamalot / My mousewheel works again
« on: February 27, 2015, 02:31:01 PM »
I played it some Nicki Minaj it started working again.

Nicki Minaj - Anaconda

Spamalot / mousewheel broken
« on: February 23, 2015, 01:37:28 PM »
too much scrolling. wheel between first and third person all the time in EQ probably doesn't help because i abuse the keyboard and mouse when i play any games. anyways this is annoying

Spamalot / Day 3 of this fast
« on: February 21, 2015, 12:26:26 PM »
Probably gonna eat tonight. Feels fine this morning.

There is something seriously wrong with my body and I've been to the doctor they are concerned and all, supposed to schedule blood tests and such. Not eating seems like a good idea. lol

I'm kidding, I'm gonna eat tonight. Maybe even have some blueberries or something that sounds really good.

You guys ever fast? Had nothing to do with Lent, just coincided with it.

Spamalot / Rides in on his high horse
« on: February 18, 2015, 06:09:33 PM »
and your valiant knight dismounts within the keep of Spamalot.

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