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Messages - Qubhed

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General Discussion / Re: Some should f! fry for making this legal.
« on: April 23, 2015, 06:52:21 PM »
Oooh I can finally be smug and say something to the effect of "yeah I totally already knew that like a decade ago." A number of years ago people were trying to get them banned as gambling machines.

Spamalot / Re: is the world going to be shit or awesome in 50 years
« on: April 23, 2015, 06:48:19 PM »
I work in the trucking industry but even I look forward to automated trucking. It will put us out of business but will be so much safer for long haul trucking. Actually I'm looking forward to driverless traffic as a mainstream thing. People are awful. Also there are tons of Mexican/South American truck drivers. The industry seems split almost 50/50 when it comes to intermodal trucking.

I think its reasonable for people to fear the loss of jobs due to automation. Once we've replaced all of these people in all of these industries what do we do with them? Realistically speaking on a long enough timeline how many jobs couldn't be done by automation? Or wouldn't be necessary because of automation in adjacent industry? People are amazingly callous about people in those situations. We could live in a post-scarcity world with wide swaths of crushing poverty just because other people wouldn't believe they deserved anything more.

Glenn beck is still a thing? I thought he went to jail for raping and murdering a girl in 1999?

This kind of misinformation and speculation is anathema to the healthy working of political media. I'm personally disappointed in you.

It was in 1991 that he raped and murdered that girl.

Spamalot / Re: Going Clear - scientology
« on: April 05, 2015, 08:06:53 AM »
I should really start a cult.

Spamalot / Re: Going Clear - scientology
« on: April 01, 2015, 09:59:16 PM »
I'm not a big Cruise fan but I bought like five or six tickets to Jack Reacher. Didn't even watch it. I'm just hoping my funding partially helps Scientology go full death ray.

Spamalot / Re: The best part of waking up
« on: April 01, 2015, 07:04:42 PM »
I love the Machine story. Don't care if its real or not but its hilarious.

Spamalot / Re: Martha Stewart
« on: April 01, 2015, 06:07:56 PM »
I don't really especially dislike Bieber any more than any other random pop-star/boy-band type. Don't get me wrong if you were asking 16 year old me he would absolutely hate Bieber with a passion. But 30 year old me doesn't have to complete with him for the attention of 16 year old girls because 30 year old me has access to both ether and a van.

Spamalot / Re: Happy April Fools
« on: April 01, 2015, 05:59:55 PM »
the internet is going to be annoying today

Spamalot / Re: TV - Monthly what are you blah blah blah
« on: April 01, 2015, 05:59:36 PM »
Yeah I mean I get the whole body issue empowerment thing but we don't need to see her naked like half of every episode. I'm a fat guy with no shame who would have no problem being naked all the time but I realize that nobody wants their eyes to set sail on the seas of my pasty rolls so I wear clothes like a normal human being.

Spamalot / Re: The best part of waking up
« on: March 31, 2015, 06:30:56 PM »
My bowels are affable and likable.

Spamalot / Re: TV - Monthly what are you blah blah blah
« on: March 31, 2015, 06:29:32 PM »
Watched Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Enjoyed it. Its basically like a recycled 30 Rock-lite but its a fun show. I look forward to the second season whenever that will be.

Started watching Girls. All caught up now. This is one that I honestly didn't expect to like at all but I have to admit it has a certain charm I can't shake. I'm honestly conflicted about the show. Its one of the rare times where I can acknowledge a show is really good but still be on the fence about it. The biggest universal complaint is that all of the characters are awful, selfish hipsters without real problems and that is 100% correct. As a matter of fact that seems exactly like the intention. I kind of liken it as a far more dramatic cross between Its Always Sunny (with a group of characters that are honestly awful people) and Curb Your Enthusiasm (cringe-porn) But its genuinely very very funny at times. You just can't go into it expecting to really root for any of these people. Kind of like Breaking Bad (just making sure I cover the spectrum of different's show's fans who would be offended by these comparisons) It probably doesn't sound very funny based on this review but it is. I won't go into a rambling diatribe about it but I do really like the characterizations. The characters are generally rather complex and will have a certain decent core about them, but so much awful fluff as to drown it out. Marnie is literally the worst. Although to be honest the show just seems to kind of exist at this point and literally nothing has really happened since the beginning of the show until now but that also kind of seems like a part of its genius. Its hard to explain, really. I could write walls of text about it and not really reach it.

Spamalot / Re: why call them implants
« on: March 23, 2015, 06:51:35 PM »
If its artificial calves they should call them gamplants.

If its an artificial bladder sphincter it should be called damnplants.

If its an artificial vagina being installed they should call it ma'amplants

If its a pop infusion of George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley they should call them Whamplants

If its an adopted child they should call them famplants.

Teenagers are the very dumbest human beings imaginable.

Spamalot / Re: KILL UTUMNO
« on: March 15, 2015, 03:36:55 PM »
Happy B-Day Oldtumno

Spamalot / Re: Travis and any other Dallas or PHI Daums.
« on: March 03, 2015, 09:15:53 PM »
If I'm ever forced to live there I'm going to wear a little blond wig and bring Denzel Washington with me.

General Discussion / Re: Yep, I'm very close to quitting my job
« on: March 03, 2015, 05:44:20 PM »

Spamalot / Re: Travis and any other Dallas or PHI Daums.
« on: March 01, 2015, 08:48:11 PM »
Im backpacking around Mexico

Have a fun kidnapping.

A Norwegian friend of mine actually lived in Mexico City for a little bit. His little sister and two dumb-as-fuck white boys defied security's orders and drove around looking for clubs in their daddy's Mercedes Benz. While she was very fortunately in the bathroom some gangsters straight up came into the club and kidnapped the two boys and made them shit and piss themselves for like a week while tied up in some basement somewhere. Teenagers are literally the stupidest people imaginable.

I just wanted an excuse to tell that story.

Spamalot / Re: I will have the last post on this thread.
« on: February 28, 2015, 08:38:26 AM »
Stalkers gonna stalk. You know who you are.

General Discussion / Re: Zek! Hows it hanging!
« on: February 22, 2015, 09:12:02 PM »
That's a nice post count you got there fellow.

General Discussion / Re: dear everyone who wants to fight a 'holy war'
« on: February 22, 2015, 09:11:16 PM »
If there's ever an ass war in this country I'm just going to pick fly and ride jizzable near Goldie Hawn the entire time.

General Discussion / Re: dear everyone who wants to fight a 'holy war'
« on: February 22, 2015, 08:46:52 PM »
If there's ever a class war in this country I'm just going to pick spy and hide invisible near the spawn the entire time.

Spamalot / Re: Burger King gave me a burger made out of 2 bottom buns
« on: February 18, 2015, 06:00:24 PM »
It had a little mustard on it. Oh god I hope that was mustard.

Spamalot / Re: Burger King gave me a burger made out of 2 bottom buns
« on: February 18, 2015, 05:41:35 PM »
One time when I was eating at Burger King at a food court in the mall I made my friend laugh so hard that he shot a pickle slice out of his nose. That's a real thing that can happen apparently. And its awful.

General Discussion / Re: John Stewart leaves The Daily Show
« on: February 13, 2015, 09:16:54 PM »
I've watched Comedy Central religiously since I was a teenager. The very moment I discovered there was an entire network devoted purely to comedy I was sold. That was back when it was the "Absolutely Fabulous" channel, too.

General Discussion / Re: John Stewart leaves The Daily Show
« on: February 11, 2015, 05:39:11 PM »
Yeah Stewart's Daily Show didn't really reach its stride until Indecision 2000.

General Discussion / Re: John Stewart leaves The Daily Show
« on: February 11, 2015, 03:41:22 AM »

Craig Kilborn aka the guy who left the Daily Show to be the douchebag boyfriend from Old School. He may have actually left because he got to be the host of the Late Late Show because that one old guy who's name I can't remember died.

General Discussion / Re: John Stewart leaves The Daily Show
« on: February 11, 2015, 03:00:16 AM »
I've been watching since Kilborn like the dirty hipster I am. I remember when Kilborn was first stepping down and Jon Stewart was going to replace him and my first thought was: "Welp, it was fun while it lasted" Had no idea how incredibly wrong I was.

Spamalot / Re: Murderpartment
« on: February 10, 2015, 12:50:19 AM »
Sea Dog- This is Katy which is a suburb of Houston. Fucking ridiculous rates out here.

Bailon - They didn't have to disclose it apparently because they didn't, lol. Texas.

Spamalot / Murderpartment
« on: February 09, 2015, 08:40:51 PM »
So my lease was coming up at the end of December. They wanted to raise my rent up to $950 a month which I kind of balked at. It was kind of a shitty complex that had multiple shootings and muggings. I'm pretty sure some guy was looking to mug me once but I became aware too early so he backed off. Just a shitty place and other, nicer places in the area were only a little more expensive. So first I looked online and found a variety of apartment complexes.

My sister even let me know about the complex she moved into. Really swank place. Only like three or four years old. They had attached garages that led directly into your apartment which is great because I don't like acknowledging the existence of my neighbors. I checked out their website and noticed that I could get a really nice apartment like this, on the first floor, and only pay about $50 bucks more a month than what I was going to at my current place. I noticed that there was a ground floor apartment which was like $40 cheaper than the two other second floor apartments they had available so I was eager to scoop that up. What a deal, right?

So I call ahead and talk to some lady in the office. She is very eager that I come out and look at the place so instead of sleeping I did just that. Honestly, I was already kind of sold and so we did the little tour they always like to do. First stop: "the business center." And, of course, my sister is in there using one of their computers like the little bum she is. We greet and she decides to join us on the tour. We go to the crappy little gym and past the pool to a little golf cart. We make awkward small talk on the way to the apartment and one of the questions she asks is: "So, why were you wanting to move?" "Well, there's only so many times you can come home to a crime scene," I joke. Then she lets out one of the most awkward little laughs I've ever heard and stammers out something like "Well you know anything can happen anywhere heh heh heh heh"

Was a little odd. Not much of a selling point when you've got a nice place like this but whatever, I let it slide. She's right, anything can happen anywhere. So we get to the place. Its fucking awesome. Freshly painted with a nice gray paint, hardwood floors in all but the bedroom. Even really nice, modern fixtures and like a wine glass holder and other classy things I'd never use for their legitimate purposes. I'm starting to think this is kind of a steal so I'm getting pretty excited. On my way back my sister quickly interjects, "Oh hey, my brother has never visited my apartment, is it cool if we swing by real quick?" The lady agrees and we make the stop.

My sister opens her garage and shows me the roominess of it and unlocks her door. She's still talking about the place when we step inside but as soon as the door closes behind me she turns and excitedly interjects, "Soooo, that place you're looking at? Yeah, there was kind of a murder-suicide there." Apparently, from what I have gathered, some guy had lived in the place for like two years and was a nice, cheerful sort. Then one day he moved in his new girlfriend and three days later they were both dead. People think it was the woman but I don't know for sure. What I do know is that one of them killed the other, threw the deadbolts and then killed theirself. The neighbors complained about the smell but maintenance couldn't get in because of the deadbolts and so they festered in there for about a month until the police were called to bust down the door or what have you. So they had to basically gut and remodel the place. It seems like they used it as a model apartment since then. Even got a free bowl and a couple of wine glasses.

So of course I moved in. Was a fucking steal. People keep asking me if I'm worried about ghosts. Honestly, I would feel bad for any ghosts- all they would have to haunt is some fat guy in his boxers eating cheese sticks and playing with himself. You can't really scare a guy like that. And hell if there's some kind of curse on the place at least I know I'll at least get a girlfriend for like three weeks which isn't really all that bad of a trade-off when you think about it.

Spamalot / Re: Songs you're listening to RIGHT NOW
« on: January 22, 2015, 09:04:32 PM »

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