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Messages - Qubhed

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 ... 281
1
Spamalot / Re: dear tzt
« on: October 19, 2014, 04:54:49 PM »
I make about 35k a year. Also I've done open mic before and absolutely crushed it. I can turn "on" in front of crowds with ease and have no fears of public speaking. its more intimate engagements that freak me out.

2
Well it was ol' Sea Dog who posted the link and he usually will go out of his way to carry water for conservatives so you know it had to be bad.

3
The formula is already there, comedy before the message. Conservatives look at it as Liberal comedy, where it's just comedy that is being told by liberal people. So the conservative response is CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN - THE COMEDY EDITION. It comes off angry and hateful, not look at the sad irony.

4
Spamalot / Re: Last Action Hero
« on: October 19, 2014, 01:26:19 AM »
Its been a while since I've seen it but I remember enjoying it. It was a nice send off to the era that made shwarzeqneggershmidt famous.

6
Spamalot / Re: dear tzt
« on: October 18, 2014, 04:11:29 AM »
qubhed quit your shitty job and move out of your shitty apartment dammit

I would but getting a new job that isn't oil/gas in Houston will be tough. All of my work experience is in transportation which doesn't fit into a lot of places and I don't have a college degree. Also that apartment is cheaper than a lot of apartments in the area and I'm paying like 850 a month for that one. Others are like 1200+. Ever since the housing market tanked its been rough out here where I'm at for apartments and the like.

7
Spamalot / Re: TZT Biggest Loser
« on: October 17, 2014, 07:43:44 PM »
Carve it instead.

8
Spamalot / Re: TZT Biggest Loser
« on: October 17, 2014, 06:03:48 PM »
I vote Quhbed cuz hes from Texas and sexy

Shirtless photos of me would break the servers when all of the chicks on the internet come here to see pics of my hot bod. Plus there's only like a 500kb image limit and I'm sure you can't fit that much fat in so little space.

9
They say the best way to suss out if a prostitute is a cop is to ask for legal services like modeling or lap dances before you ask for the big stuff. Most police don't have the time to fuck around with stuff like that and will reject you.


10
Because decades of Law And Order police/courtroom dramas have filled people's heads with the dumbest shit over the years. "Always spill the beans to the cops talking to you, they can get you a better deal that way" "If you plead the 5th you are obviously guilty and hiding something" "Technology is basically magic"

11
The Top 10 Most Pant-Shittingly Insanely Hilarious Reasons That Tulion Is An Awful Monster Masquerading As A Human Being

13
Spamalot / Re: TZT Biggest Loser
« on: October 16, 2014, 10:09:19 PM »
You're striking out on your own. Maybe you're becoming more like me DUN DUN DUN

14
Spamalot / Re: dear tzt
« on: October 16, 2014, 09:51:34 PM »
I'm probably going to renew my lease for a fourth year at my apartment where during my stay two people have been shot because fuck moving couches from downstairs. My apartment is seriously depressing though. Half of my shit is still in boxes, including all of my dishes. I just keep telling people I recently moved in. Only the management knows the ugly truth.

15
Spamalot / Re: TZT Biggest Loser
« on: October 16, 2014, 09:50:06 PM »
lol TZT's gayest thread of the decade so far. Nadanson is currently book-marking this page as "Meh, I guess if I was pretty drunk I could start to masturbate to this but I certainly won't be finishing here but what's the harm in one more open tab?"

16
Spamalot / Re: Sometimes
« on: October 15, 2014, 10:01:55 PM »
Sometimes its hard to maintain that Utumno hate that burns inside all of us and then he'll be a real bro and post something like that to remind us why he must die.

17
Spamalot / Re: Tried running to get rid of nasty cold
« on: October 15, 2014, 05:41:53 PM »
If running cured diseases I would be dead.

18
Spamalot / Re: If we met in RL
« on: October 15, 2014, 05:23:49 PM »
Is Searyx pronounced like Serious except with an "X" at the end? Because that's how I've been pronouncing it for over a decade now.

19
Spamalot / Re: Sometimes
« on: October 15, 2014, 05:22:56 PM »
Chip N Dales' Rescue Rangers for the NES was fucking awesome. Even had PvP.

20
Spamalot / Re: Sometimes
« on: October 15, 2014, 12:51:39 AM »
I just feel there's nobody out there making fun of how stupid porn pictures of women can really be.

21
Spamalot / Re: Sometimes
« on: October 14, 2014, 11:26:42 PM »
I don't think so, it was in a pretty large sub-reddit. God I hope not in retrospect. But I always want to make fun of stuff like this because of how stupid it is.

22
Spamalot / Sometimes
« on: October 14, 2014, 11:06:22 PM »
I want to make a reddit account specifically to make fun of stupid posts in porn subreddits. Like this chick is pretty but my god these pictures look stupid as hell. What is she, a 12 year old boy sniffing a bra he found in his friend's older sister's room or something? I just want to make fun of it all but I don't want to get my main account banned. Also since all the comments usually are "oh man you're so hot the things I'd do to you baby" I don't think I would last long without getting banned anyways. Do they do IP bans?

23
Spamalot / Re: [surgery] fuck yeah
« on: October 14, 2014, 11:02:14 PM »
Ugh should not have read that up there. I had a friend once fall off the roof of his house and wrinkle his forearm bone. I don't even know how that works.

24
Spamalot / Re: just daum things
« on: October 14, 2014, 11:01:13 PM »
lol at :46 "oh my god oh my god the girl fell over I must save her face"

25
Spamalot / Re: gay
« on: October 13, 2014, 09:30:06 PM »
I really really really hope so.

26
Spamalot / Re: gay
« on: October 13, 2014, 05:31:12 PM »

27
Spamalot / Re: Made A Tinder
« on: October 11, 2014, 02:55:03 AM »
U mad?

No, its just a form of brutal honesty mixed with a little cold reading based on the sea of dumb frustrated sexless losers that usually whine about this shit. And a pinch of tough love.

28
Spamalot / Re: Made A Tinder
« on: October 11, 2014, 02:53:20 AM »
Yeah I've being really dumb and mopey and feeling sorry for myself. Hate when I do this and get all whiny. Sorry, I'm sure you guys are sick of rolling your eyes at these posts. Lux you're about 50% right but it goes a bit deeper than that. Mostly it stems from a frustration in whatever stupid shit that freaks me out so god damned much about any kind of social thing. And before (I know its not actually before its after) you go "Welp everybody's anxious about social situations" I do realize that and everybody has a healthy fear of spiders and some people lose their fucking minds and freak out over a common wolf spider or whatever. It reminds me of my fear of looking up at really tall things. I think I went over that before. I honestly have no idea why I'm so fucking afraid of it. Maybe I think I'm imagining myself falling from that height but really all I can do is guess because it makes absolutely no sense to me. No matter how much time I spend rationally convincing myself there's nothing to be afraid if I look up at something tall from the base (or even just dense, low hanging clouds) I will lose my shit every time. And social stuff isn't just not talking to girls. Its not talking to people, period. Its avoiding and being absolutely terrified of people. I used to think it was just fear of rejection but more and more I'm discovering I'm more afraid of people accepting me. Maybe its a fear of people accepting me, realizing who I really am and then rejecting me. Not just turning down some fat ugly dude in an Aquaman T-shirt but seeing me for the person I am and being absolutely repulsed. I don't know, all I can do is guess. My biggest fears were realized when I had to actually cold open talk to strangers and try to win them over playing by a set of rules I don't even begin to understand. I have to keep asking a bunch of questions and chase or something but I have to be distant and not over-eager. Everybody says to talk to girls like you're talking to a normal person and I've tried that numerous times but you don't have to follow a bunch of dumb rules and go out of your way to prove yourself when you're making conversation with friends or those you want to become your friends. And most importantly you don't have to convince their loins to froth for you. Its maddening. And I don't want to go by some system because though I'm 100% confident those types of systems would work because I've peddled far more than my share of bullshit in the past I really really don't like that kind of stuff and I'd have to shut down and become full perma "on" and dispense shit like a robot. I'm sliding further and further into the abyss of perpetual hermitry. I don't make new friends and since most of mine have moved on with their lives I really only have one friend left. Pretty soon he and his wife plan on having a child and though he speaks to the contrary I know at that point I will have exactly 0 friends. And I won't make anymore because I can't even leave my house. I have mini nervous breakdowns about driving one fucking mile and buying groceries during peak times so I just don't eat/drink on Saturdays (the one day off I get every week that I always end up just spending sitting in my apartment alone doing absolutely nothing) if I haven't remembered to shop on one of the early mornings after I get off work. And I have no idea what to do about it. I can't afford the time and money for therapy and I've honestly never heard of somebody really tangibly benefiting from therapy and such unless they had some kind of absolutely severe clinical issue and even that is mostly just doping them up. So I have no idea what to actually do or how (if I even can) actually improve myself. I'm a sociable guy that's afraid of people. I'm a comedy writer that doesn't actually write comedy. I feel like Rain Man without the magic powers and every other guy is Tom Cruise and I'm just awkwardly standing in the room confused while they're banging some hot chick. I think that scene happened, its been a while. I feel pretty useless and I really hate living and I'm frustrated that I can't just fix it and do what normal people do. So instead I'm just crying about it on the internet like a 280lb hairy pre-teen girl. So like a regular pre-teen girl in Texas I guess.

29
Spamalot / Re: Made A Tinder
« on: October 10, 2014, 05:37:58 PM »
There's not much to share, really. Turns out a couple of the chicks were like porn spam bots or something. The one chick I did talk to I just kind of awkwardly fumbled around and then stopped talking to her because I went blank. I'm reminded of why I stopped trying all those years ago. My brain just completely shuts down and I don't know why and I don't know how to stop that. Yeah yeah yeah I know its some dumb mental block and no I'm not making mythical creatures out of girls. I'm not going to just magically get over it no matter how many times I'm reminded how dumb I'm being. Social situations really fry my brain for some reason and trying to form relationships is the most stressful form of that anxiety. Trying to date again is just a reminder of what I giant loser I am. I really had no business doing all this.

30
Spamalot / Re: Made A Tinder
« on: October 09, 2014, 09:57:41 PM »
My best friend's wife is freaking out and making a bigger deal out of this than I ever could so that helps give me perspective.

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