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Messages - Qubhed

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Spamalot / Re: Songs You Hate
« on: April 27, 2016, 06:21:31 PM »
Foo Fighters were what introduced me into rock and I still kind of hold them in high regard for "The Colour and the Shape" album although I will admit all of their music sounds exactly the same so its not necessarily a band I still follow.

Spamalot / Songs You Hate
« on: April 25, 2016, 09:26:23 PM »

Inspired by the "Songs You're Listening To" thread I decided to strike out on my own and just make an altered copy of it and pass it off as my own fresh material, as is the American way. I begin with "Don't Take the Girl" a 90's hit from Tim McGraw that made me want to stab hot knitting needles into my ears as a child. For the longest time in Houston, Texas this song was completely inescapable. To sum it up the crux of the song is its stupid title, beginning as a young boy prepared to go on a fishing trip with his father. When a little girl shows up with a fishing pole he pleads with his father to bring one of his many friends that were apparently named by Stan Lee along instead. The father remains steadfast in his decision, replying that one day his son will be plowing her so that its in his best interest. Thus the first meaning to the phrase "Don't Take the Girl" Fast forward a decade and the father's prophecy has come to pass as his son is plowing this chick. He's making out with her right in front of a movie theatre like the tacky shitdick he is when some dude pulls a gun on them. Instead of just giving this dude his shit and moving on he utters the second iteration of "Don't Take the Girl" for some strange reason putting the thought of kidnapping his love into the mind of his attacker. Finally five years later his wife is in labor in the hospital, but she isn't going to make it. He begs God to take all this other crap instead (I couldn't will myself to listen this far into the song for my write up so this is where it starts getting lazy) but God  in his infinite wisdom ignores his cries making the third iteration of "Don't Take the Girl" the exact same as the second one because Tim McGraw is even lazier than I am. Finally at the end of the song he's about to take his own young son fishing when a young girl shows up, thus tieing up the premise of the song and damning his child to the same cycle of love and loss that has apparently been wrought through the McGraw family since the beginning of time.

I was originally going to do Achy Breaky Heart because its the only song I hate more than "Don't Take the Girl" but I felt everybody was familiar enough with it to groan at its mere mention and it didn't require a write up. Plus I will not force myself to listen to it again for you guys. I love you guys but I am incapable of loving anybody enough to subject myself to that. Plus if the person I loved loved me back they wouldn't make me so it all wraps up in a neat little bow of "fuck you I'm not listening to that song willingly"

Spamalot / Re: Daredevil Season 2
« on: March 28, 2016, 10:35:46 PM »
Yeah generally Hollywood completely fails the Punisher because there's always this push for a female love interest and pathos so Punisher goes from psychopathic bad guy who slaughters bad guys to watered down anti-hero. So far this is my favorite rendition of the Punisher (although I still want to make a Punisher trilogy of movies). Looks like they were testing the waters of him getting his own stand-alone show after this, too. I enjoyed Jessica Jones. I think mostly because it has one of the scariest villains with a really terrifying concept. JJ kind of stretches unnecessarily in the middle but is really solid and I very much enjoyed it. I also have two episodes of this season of Daredevil left. Also, funniest thing about Daredevil is how it will seamlessly go from really solid writing to really shitty writing back and forth without warning. I hate Foggy and holy shit Karen stop giving everybody "I'm helpless and want to fuck you" eyes before doing something useless and stupid because it gets really confusing.

Spamalot / Re: i fucking hate everything
« on: March 28, 2016, 10:22:52 PM »
Now I will not be able to divorce in my mind that Knitting and Liz Lemon are one in the same. In other news is anybody else getting weird boners from Knitting posts all of a sudden?

Spamalot / Re: anyone else seen "naked lunch"?
« on: March 06, 2016, 02:41:54 PM »
Saw it really really stoned once.

General Discussion / Re: Sanders Opposes Bill to Block GMO Labeling
« on: March 02, 2016, 06:47:08 PM »
Question about GMO because I'm a dummy: Is the current work being done on modifying plants any different than the modifications on plants we've been doing since the dawn of agriculture? Like are these companies just selectively breeding RoundUp resistant plants or are they actually modifying genetic strains with science laser rays?

You can register your ship with a nation that had dodgy laws or the inability or disinclination to enforce them. That's why you see a lot of American vessels flagged as Liberia or some tiny Caribbean island.

Yeah when I worked for a steam ship line it seemed like all of the major steamship lines had all their boats registered in Liberia or Morroco. Except for Maersk I think

I didn't read the whole thing but the silliest thing about going into international waters to get away with stuff is that there is no such thing as an "international ship" so you're still legally bound to the laws of the nation your ship is registered to.

Spamalot / Re: Post an Everquest NPC
« on: February 24, 2016, 08:51:01 PM »
I already posted the one true god, Klerick.

Also I'm still playing Blue like a dork.

Spamalot / Re: Post an Everquest NPC
« on: February 18, 2016, 09:26:13 PM »
You two on Red or Blue?

Spamalot / Re: Denver Craigslist ad threatens formation of Creed cover band
« on: February 15, 2016, 07:42:55 PM »
Did they claim to have done it while being her teacher/coach or is it that they were in high school with her and claimed to have done it then.


Oh yeah, should have been more specific. They meant while they were classmates, not teachers/coaches. These guys were all in that same sort of age range as her.

Spamalot / Re: Denver Craigslist ad threatens formation of Creed cover band
« on: February 12, 2016, 12:20:05 AM »
Two members of creed went to the same school as I and a few other floridaums, and it was cringeworthy watching teachers talk about it and expect that we'd be impressed. They're like the less famous nickleback


Renee Zellwegger went to my high school. Basically every coach claimed to have totally nailed her back in the day. Was a bit cringey.

Spamalot / Re: cover letters
« on: February 04, 2016, 07:17:13 PM »
I fucking nail interviews. I realize its entirely unfair but I do very very well in office environments because I bullshit like a champ and brighten the lives of otherwise miserable office-dwellers. When I worked for an Israeli shipping line the number 2 of the branch was just an old Israeli ship captain who was in his "pre-retirement" at our location. Basically he would walk around bullshitting with people and I did two things. A) I got him to keep most of his bullshitting with me so others could do their work without that weird fear of being scrutinized and B) I kept this guy super entertained. He fucking loved me. Would always tell me what things meant in Yiddish. After I got laid off he gave me a big hug and offered to write a glowing letter of recommendation for me. I think I could be a really ignorant and undeserving member of upper management at some company if I put in the effort.

Spamalot / Re: cover letters
« on: February 03, 2016, 03:03:34 AM »
lol was coming to the exact same conclusion as I read it.

Spamalot / Re: Broad City
« on: January 26, 2016, 10:28:53 PM »
I saw a few episodes before on my cable's OnDemand but I hadn't seen enough to truly appreciate it. The episode "Wisdom Teeth" made me laugh harder than I have in a while.

Spamalot / Broad City
« on: January 26, 2016, 06:46:29 PM »
Highly recommend. Have access to Hulu so I was able to watch both seasons. Really really funny fucking show. Its everything Girls should have been. It can take an episode or two to kind of get their rhythm but its absolutely worth it. A++

Yeah I don't think teenagers will be changing their gender designation as flippantly as you seem to believe. Just like the option to be homosexual without being beaten and chemically castrated doesn't turn like 75% of teens into raging super-gays who devour the souls of their devout Christian peers, this isn't going to turn all boys into girls and vice versa. Though given the ratio of boys to girls that naturally exists that kind of problem would probably just balance itself out anyways. Also, like what you spoke condescendingly to Utumno for saying in a way that did not attack you (asshole), its just a self-identification thing. Big fucking whoop. If it was electing to have surgery maybe you'd have something there. You're putting waaaay too much weight behind how a 16 year old views their self and how that will impact their future person. If you made all of your most important decisions about who you are when you were 16 then I'm so very sorry for you (consider the condescension volleyed) but your concern seems more like a veiled lashing out at a concept you're uncomfortable and purposely unfamiliar with.

Edit: Also, another rant to add to the dogpile, (because don't you dare be mean to Utumno, he is the heat that lights my heart [sorry Liz]) I love how your knee-jerk response to Utumno was that he was basing his beliefs solely on his emotions while the OP is basically you saying how this is such a bad thing because of the way you FEEL about it. Could you perhaps pass the irony of that oft-repeated sentiment around at the next Conservative Neo-Birch Society meeting to head off the inevitable Onion article your "misguided" nieces and nephews will post on your Facebook walls? /end rant.

PPS: Wow I didn't realize til now how touchy I get when people are mean to Utumno. I usually don't even respond to these things. Jxands, I understand that guys like Taket and myself will be total assholes and I won't necessarily fault you for being ugly to us but Utumno is a really nice guy (and not in the m'lady sense, either. Like genuinely nice. I bet he doesn't even own a fedora or trilby and probably couldn't even discern the two)

General Discussion / Re: Did we already have a Yallqaeda thread?
« on: January 14, 2016, 01:14:04 AM »
Bush was like Reagan. A useful idiot who surrounded himself with staunch ideologues.

And what's with the kid just walking up and poking this divine document? Keep your fucking filthy booger-flingers off the damn Constitution. Can't you see that Jesus is fucking presenting it to the world you little shit? This is why Moses was a much better historical religious figure. You think he'd just let some little turd poke at the 10 Commandments? No, because Old Testament dudes don't fuck around. They call for bears to maul children for less than that. Also Fredrick Douglas clearly has no idea what the fuck is going on since they stood him right behind the tall dickhead in the coonskin cap. George Washington, Ben Franklin and black soldier dude are kind of derping and doing the pledge of allegiance out what can only be some kind of knee-jerk reflex despite the fact that the only flag is like a quarter mile behind him. I do like that Tim Allen has a sense of humor about the whole situation even though there's a scary ghost behind him. Really ties the piece together.

General Discussion / Re: White Men!
« on: January 11, 2016, 08:08:31 PM »
Spend the next few days shitting into a small cardboard box and then put said box on your porch. If you're friendly with any cartoon rabbits have them spring-load it for affect.

Spamalot / Re: Business names
« on: January 04, 2016, 05:41:29 PM »
Dog-Dick/Red Rocket.

But honestly: What's your target demo? What age/socio-economic audience are you trying to appeal to?

Spamalot / Re: game looks sick af
« on: December 29, 2015, 06:27:16 PM »
Neckbeard quibble, that move grabbing the sword by its blade looks ludicrously impractical

Yeah I thought the same thing. Neckbeards of a feather ... get oily and stained by Mountain Dew

Spamalot / Re: Rapist Manbaby Cop: "fuck this u have sow"
« on: December 17, 2015, 07:15:16 PM »
petition to make agrul's board title SPEED OF WOLF

Spamalot / Re: Do you have good instints?
« on: November 17, 2015, 07:45:59 PM »
I killed like four hundred stints and wove a suit from their tiny, broken bird bodies. And then I wrapped myself in a large mesh screen and inserted myself into a blue whale's heart. Now my instints are in stints in a stent.

Spamalot / Re: Playing Fallout 4
« on: November 11, 2015, 06:45:55 PM »
I got it for the xbone because I don't know how to upgrade my computer plus I'm kind of broke right now because girlfriends are expensive

Spamalot / Playing Fallout 4
« on: November 10, 2015, 11:07:46 PM »

General Discussion / Re: The University of Missouri
« on: November 10, 2015, 06:06:58 PM »
Honestly I don't know why everybody is freaking out about this. So a bunch of racist ass shit happens at Missouri, the administration doesn't give a shit so the predominantly black football team strikes to financially hurt the institution that was profiting off of them. No taxation without representation or what have you, right? I don't think it was an outrage that he stepped down or was "forced" to step down. If you rely on a group of people to keep your school afloat don't shit on them. Seems pretty simple. I honestly hear far far far more people freaking out about "SJW's" then I see actual "SJW's" doing anything. Oh some stupid freshmen kids at a college said stupid shit? Oh no, its the end of the fucking world, everybody better whine about it about this egregious erosion of your rights to be an asshole over every mainstream media outlet. White men did this in the 80's, too. Freaking out about disco and shit. Calm the fuck down, already. There's enough of this shit on Reddit, I don't want to see it here at one of the few bastions of fucking rationality left on my internets. Its fucking annoying. Stopping before I go on a full, proper rant here.

Spamalot / Re: I shouldn't
« on: November 08, 2015, 06:16:31 PM »
I've been playing blue again pretty hot and heavy. Come play with us

General Discussion / Re: He did it
« on: October 28, 2015, 05:45:28 PM »
Is it impressive because you didn't have an nes? Common knowledge like konami code.

I had a NES. I'm a retro gaming turbonerd who played virtually every NES game in existence (even the shitty ones like Friday the 13th and Silver Surfer).

neckbeard seppuku may be in order

Even with cheat codes Silver Surfer was fucking hard as hell. What were they thinking? Also what the fuck was the objective in Uncanny X-Men other than going from cell to cell fighting the villains from Centipede? Also I never got past the very first stage of Bart Vs. The Space Mutants. Fuck the NES sometimes, really.

PS: Taket likely learned about the downhill thing from that xcdc or whatever comic like I did.

Spamalot / Re: wigged out today
« on: October 28, 2015, 05:43:09 PM »

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